Vince gives reasons for WWE's lousy fourth quarter

[Lynas]

10. “Communal Merchandise Sharing” - Vince says that due to the economy, WWE fans are forced to buy t-shirts and Cena armbands by pooling their money together and wearing them on alternating days.

9. “Not Enough Michael Cole” – In the next quarter, Michael Cole will host every show by himself, wrestle on every show, be revealed as the General Manager, and have his image superimposed over the WWE logo in the right hand corner of the screen.

8. “The Death of Paul Bearer” – The unexpected and accidental murder of Paul Bearer had ruined nine more months of supernatural storylines, and put Edge and Kane in prison for the next 10 to 15 years.

7. “The Perfect Storm” – McMahon confessed that “terrible writing, bad campy skits, and over exposure of the product in general has caused the fall in profits.” He then said “not!” and had a good laugh.

6. “Double the Pay-Per-Views, Double the Price, Quadruple the Profits” – WWE is expanding the number of Pay-Per-Views a year to 27 and will charge $120 for each one, except WrestleMania which will cost $400, or if you want it in HD, your first born child.

5. “I Was in a Coma” – McMahon gets desperate and tried for half an hour to unsuccessfully convince stockholders that he was genuinely in a coma.

4. “Shawn Michaels, Batista Retire” - “Wait, did I already used that one?” McMahon asked the shareholders.

3. Natalya as Women’s Champion – Vince apologized for having a woman who can actually wrestle be the women’s champion for a few months, and promised it will never happen again.

2. Matt Hardy Leaves the Company – McMahon explained that their ratings went down a tenth of a point when Hardy left, as some people only watched to see how out of shape Hardy got every week out of morbid curiosity. That 0.1 has now jumped to TNA Impact.

And Vince McMahon's Number One Excuse for a Lousy Fourth Quarter 2010...

1. Youth Movement – Booker T. and Kevin Nash are only the first steps, and says he will raid TNA’s talent of anyone over 40, which then leaves TNA with seven wrestlers.

[kavin]

all of these points are reasonable. :ymapplause:

[Rabid619]

all of these points are reasonable. :ymapplause:

This is a joke article, FYI.....