BRM Reviews the 6/21/2012 Impact (f*cking horrible)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- bad. The X-Division Title has now become nothing more than a once-a-year stepping stone for a World Heavyweight Title match. I hate it. Then Bobby Roode comes out and horribly overacts, then says a bunch of things that are actually mostly unrelated to the actual situation here. Then they brawl. Then Anderson comes out and cuts a promo saying that he will win the Bound For Glory Series. Anderson’s promo just felt SO random.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Mr. Anderson vs. Christopher Daniels 5.25/10
Wait… so they are giving certain guys the choice to make challenges to others in the BFG Series? That doesn’t seem fair.

They now announce that all BFG Series matches will have 10 minute time limits. Which means that most of them will be going less than ten minutes… which means that TNA is telling us that most of their top guys can’t last ten minutes (at one point, Taz even says “ten minutes; that’s not a lot of time”).

BROOKE HOGAN HOLDS A KNOCKOUTS' MEETING- Utter crap. Brooke wants to know why each of the Knockouts want the title? BECAUSE THEY ARE WRESTLERS! Winning the title is how they know they are the BEST AT WHAT THEY DO. They want it for PERSONAL PRIDE! If Brooke is even asking this question, it shows just how under-qualified she is for this job.
Then Brooke tells Madison that she won’t be getting the title shot tonight. I was dead sure they said that this was going to be a four-way match, not a singles match, which is what they seem to be building towards with this same dumb Open Fight Night segment where they whittle down a group of challengers to just one.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Kurt Angle vs. Robbie E. (w/Rob Terry)-
If Robbie E could have called out anyone he wanted, why not call out Anderson or Daniels, who have already wrestled tonight? Anyway, Robbie E. taps in about thirty seconds, making his inclusion in the BFG Series seem like a farce (which it is).

TAELER HENDRIX VIDEO PACKAGE- decent

MAGNUS PROMO- good

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Magnus vs. AJ Styles- 3.5/10
Not bad… just ridiculously short, and the finish (Kaz and Daniels distract AJ) is getting dull.

TAELER HENDRIX vs. TARA- 2/10
Taeler was not particularly impressive, and the match was extremely short.

BULLY RAY & JOSEPH PARK SEGMENT- crap. This is just moronically over-dramatic. And why is Joseph Park allowed to walk around backstage?

SAMOA JOE PROMO- awesome

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Samoa Joe vs. James Storm- 4.75/10
Remember how Taz and Tenay tried to sell to us that it was going to be hard for the wrestlers to win their matches in just ten minutes? Well so far, none of the matches have even come close to the time limit.

BROOKE AND THE KNOCKOUTS AGAIN- bad. Brooke tells ODB that she “knows about” everything going on between her and EY, and so she won’t give ODB the title shot. If you knew about these disqualifying qualities… WHY THE HELL DID YOU TELL HER TO SHOW UP IN THE FIRST PLACE? Angelina Love, Winter, Sarita, and Rosita are all still under contract. Why did you bring ODB knowing in advance that you would disqualify her… but not bring any of those four women who don’t have all of that going on?

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Bully Ray vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero- DUD!
Rather than make Pope look strong in his return, they decide to show that he needs help to win

HOGAN, RVD, & JEFF HARDY BACKSTAGE- not bad… just unnecessary.

BROOKE CHOOSES A CHALLENGER- Brooke chooses Mickie James because having the title would mean a lot to Mickie. It would mean a lot to ALL OF THE KNOCKOUTS! These segments are such BS it is obnoxious.

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Brooke Tessmacher(c) vs. Mickie James- 4/10
Mickie destroys Tessmacher, but gets rolled up, making Tessmacher look weak in her first title defense.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy- 4.25/10
Completely unacceptable as a main event.

CLOSING SEGMENT- WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS SH*T?
So the deep, dark, secret that Dixie and AJ are so ashamed of is that they have been helping a drug addict recover? SERIOUSLY? Who the f*ck was going to be hurt by revealing this? The drug addict? She knows that she is a drug addict. Her family? They know something is up with her, since she said that she had been going to rehab, and I would like to think that they would be very understanding of this poor woman’s addiction and be willing to support her. Surely Dixie and AJ wouldn’t be hurt by this becoming public knowledge, as helping drug addicts recover is the kind of thing that people get philanthropy awards for. So who would be hurt by this? And even if someone would, why was this level of secrecy required? They kept the secret to the point where not only would Dixie not tell her own husband, but she let him continue thinking that she and AJ were having an affair so much so that they were both okay with him PUNCHING AJ IN THE FACE.

For SIX WEEKS, they didn’t come out and say anything about this at all. You know who was probably hurt by this? Dixie’s husband, and AJ’s wife and kids! And it isn’t Kaz and Daniels’ fault that they got hurt. It is Dixie and AJ’s fault for WAITING SIX WEEKS BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO ISSUE ANY SORT OF CORRECTION WHATSOEVER! This was THE WORST reveal of any built-up mystery I can ever remember in wrestling. I can honestly say that Hornswoggle being Vince’s son was less disappointing than this. I am not even remotely joking here. I am being 100% serious. That is how bad this was. This was f*cking moronic, and has made all of these segments over the past six weeks retroactively moronic by association.

This week’s Impact SUCKED. The only thing more disappointing than the show itself was my disappointment in myself for not being able to come up with a longer rant on the AJ-Dixie thing… although I can still hold my head high because it is currently three in the morning. TNA creative has no such out because this is their day job (and the fact that they keep it is a testament to Dixie Carter’s stupidity).

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz “I respect that out of Anderson. That he’s not feeling what Daniels has been doing; trying to wreck people’s lives and marriages and stuff”- OH COME ON! There are two people who are to blame for this whole situation, and they are Dixie and AJ. Daniels didn’t put a gun to their heads and tell them that he would shoot them if they didn’t have an affair with each other. AJ and Dixie are to blame! Daniels has just revealed it. Hell, if it is true (and no one has denied yet, and it has been over a month) Daniels should be AJ’s wife’s and Serge’s new best friend. Didn’t Kurt go heel last summer because Dixie knew about Karen’s affair with Jeff and didn’t tell anyone? So why are Daniels and Kaz wrong in this situation? As I said before, blaming Kaz and Daniels here is like blaming Woodward and Bernstein for Watergate. It is utterly ridiculous to make them out as the bad guys here.

2. Tenay “The unpredictability of Open Fight Night and the Bound For Glory Series sees the arrival of The ‘Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe”- What was unpredictable about this? You told us before the break that one of the BFG Series guys would be coming out, and there are only six left, so Joe coming out was a ONE IN SIX CHANCE. Not exactly “unpredictable.”

3. Taz and Tenay argue over which one of them should get credit for being the first one to point out that the fact that no one called them out could show that the others are afraid of RVD and Jeff and thus that those two should be considered the favorites. This was moronic because the first one to bring it up wasn’t either of them. It was Hogan, who said it during the unnecessary segment where he announced this already obvious match.

[Rabid619]

See!!! Robbie E has absolutely no business in the BFG Series. I also think the thing is stupid as. We ALL know Storm is going to win it and beat Roode at BFG. They should have made it less obvious and dropped this stupid thing. Only 10 minutes for matches? How about you make it reasonable like 15 or 20 minutes.

[cero2k]

How about you make it reasonable like 15 or 20 minutes.

but then they might as well shouldn't even mention it, we know that TNA won't run a 15 minute match on Impact. They did the 10 minute limit because i'm sure they'll want to run several time limit draws when we get face vs face

[Serujuunin]

I kind of like what they're doing with the X Division thing. except that they shouldn't make it a yearly thing. I think this way people will only go "Oh, it's coming up to that yearly mark that the X Division Champ gets to trade up, better get my ass in gear." I think it should be kind of random, like after a certain period of time they've been holding the title, then Hogan can come out and go "Hey, now's your chance". I think it gives a kayfabe excuse to book the smaller guys in the title picture. It's not a bad idea, just poorly executed, as usual.

On an unrelated note, I hate getting used to a new keyboard.

[Big Red Machine]

I kind of like what they're doing with the X Division thing. except that they shouldn't make it a yearly thing. I think this way people will only go "Oh, it's coming up to that yearly mark that the X Division Champ gets to trade up, better get my a** in gear." I think it should be kind of random, like after a certain period of time they've been holding the title, then Hogan can come out and go "Hey, now's your chance". I think it gives a kayfabe excuse to book the smaller guys in the title picture. It's not a bad idea, just poorly executed, as usual.

On an unrelated note, I hate getting used to a new keyboard.

Why is the belt relevant, then? If someone has been winning a whole bunch of matches recently and are eligible for a shot at that title, they should be given one. Turning the X-Division Title into a yearly cash-in chip makes the X-Division Title seem only important as a shortcut to a World Title shot.

[Serujuunin]

I kind of like what they're doing with the X Division thing. except that they shouldn't make it a yearly thing. I think this way people will only go "Oh, it's coming up to that yearly mark that the X Division Champ gets to trade up, better get my a** in gear." I think it should be kind of random, like after a certain period of time they've been holding the title, then Hogan can come out and go "Hey, now's your chance". I think it gives a kayfabe excuse to book the smaller guys in the title picture. It's not a bad idea, just poorly executed, as usual.

On an unrelated note, I hate getting used to a new keyboard.

Why is the belt relevant, then? If someone has been winning a whole bunch of matches recently and are eligible for a shot at that title, they should be given one. Turning the X-Division Title into a yearly cash-in chip makes the X-Division Title seem only important as a shortcut to a World Title shot.

I'm not saying that guys who have been on a roll wouldn't get a shot, I'm just saying that the X Division Champ should get that chance periodically, but randomly. Like, it could be two weeks, three months, a year, whatever. I think that way it would give the X Division a little more exposure, and it would be a good way to insert an X Division guy into the Title picture. I think I'm just doing a crappy job of explaining myself but I think if they did it right it could be a good thing. Key phrase being 'if they did it right'.

[Big Bad Booty Daddy]

I completely hated the whole knockouts meeting. What annoyed me was the whole Madison saying "Im longest knockout champion in history" or whatever it was and Mickey James saying "ive held every womans title ect" so in other words the TNA and WWE WOmans.

Brooke Hogan is hot but completely usless and not needed in TNA. BUT prefer her to Karen Jarrett

LOVED Magnus's promo

The gutcheck chick was pretty Hot as was Mickey James tonight =p~

Its all pretty predictable we know Storm will win it then beat Roode

[Big Red Machine]

Its all pretty predictable we know Storm will win it then beat Roode

Which is why they shouldn't be doing the BFG Series this year. They are pretty much throwing away four months of TV for some of their biggest stars because we all know that Storm will win in the end.

[Big Bad Booty Daddy]

Its all pretty predictable we know Storm will win it then beat Roode

Which is why they shouldn't be doing the BFG Series this year. They are pretty much throwing away four months of TV for some of their biggest stars because we all know that Storm will win in the end.

Exactly!!! The fact we are what 2/3 weeks into the BFG series and hes already 26 points ahead of second place is a joke. Still im intrigued to see what happens to the Aries/Roode feud.

Im also intrigued to see if TNA will continue the whole "giving up the X division belt for a world title shot" idea. I bet by next year itll be forgotten