The Ongoing CHIKARA Blogs Thread

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Mike Quackenbush:

11/7/2012: Ah, deviANT. Treading the fine line between pathetic and funny. Do you know the expression "an eye for an eye?" It's a simple concept that dates back about 3,800 years. It's not something I invented. It's the notion that for every wrong done there should be a compensating measure of justice. Not everyone agrees with this principle. Not everyone feels this type of justice is truly just.

I spent a long time feeling like all my actions needed to be justified to everyone, everywhere. When you are the face of a team, an organization, a movement...you have that kind of accountability. You know where that got me? Nowhere. Because it isn't possible. Aspiring to that is a path to madness. Well I don't have to justify myself to you, or to Sabato or to anyone else.

This weekend, I have you and The Shard in one place, at one time. And you made the tally very clear in your blog: Two careers, one wrist, one leg. You say you got the message? Let's be certain.

GEKIDO came to CHIKARA to expose something "dark" about us. And along the way, they ended the careers of a promising young rookie, and a beloved veteran from our maiden voyage. They broke the bones, tore the connective tissues, and put both Fire Ant and I on the shelf. You sent your message, GEKIDO. But putting us down is not the same as taking us out.

People like the GEKIDO need to be made an example of. Or the next group that comes along thinking we are ripe for the picking will do even more damage. You ended two careers, GEKIDO. Now, so have I. But the scales are not yet balanced. This weekend, I will put things back into balance, and I don't care if that means losing a decision of having a match thrown out or being suspended from the roster. I'm sorry, Jigsaw. If there's a price to pay for protecting what we've built, I will be the one to pay it. These men that want to show the world something dark about us? I am going to show them the darkness.

You asked fans to tweet about your blog, deviANT. Now I will ask you to tweet me. I'm @MikeQuackenbush. Just tell me which you prefer: wrist or leg. I'll oblige you in Cleveland. Unless I get to The Shard before I get to you.


Eye for an eye.
LMQ

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Veronica:

11/9/2012: OMG! I cannot wait until the season finale!!! I already have my Aunt Theresa making my one-of-a-kind dress. OH! And my cousin Cathy is doing my hair and my cousin Liz is going to do my make-up. I just pray my other cousin doesn’t ruin it all with her parole nonsense or crashes the scene sipping her ice tea and making a fool out of herself like she always does.

Well, whatever. I WILL be homecoming queen. It makes perfect sense, don’t you think? I am the first lady of CHIKARA. My, I’m the ONLY lady in CHIKARA. Nothing and no one gravitates such power over people like I do. I mean come on, I stop traffic and men with their girlfriends gawk at me as I pass by. Then I hear a *smack* because I know they just got in trouble. HA HA, idiots. I’m almost like Madonna: every man fears me; but, begs for my attention at the same time. The girls, well, they copy me in fashion and class. But you can’t duplicate greatness.

The icing on the cake? CHIKARA’s season finale is taking place in my hometown, PHILLY! Such pomp and circumstance. OOOO! Maybe I can get Mayor Nutter to close down Arch street and set up a parade for me. Yes, the Philadelphia Princess’s glorious homecoming! I’ll wave to the crowd as they cheer for me. Yes, they will adore me. With a Young Lion on my arm, nothing can ruin this magical night for me. Nothing.

Be sure to cast your ballots in Chicago and Cleveland. Even if tickets are sold out, Mark will be outside with the ballot box if you want to drop yours off. Let your voices be heard! There are other elections going on apparently, but you can get that wrong every few years. CHIKARA has never crowned a homecoming king and queen before. You must get this right! This is your chance to do something for the first lady of CHIKARA for a change!

[cero2k]

11/13/2012: Indianapolis, IN. August 8th, 2012.
That day should have been the day I cashed in all my hard work, the day I tasted a victory sweeter then Big Vic's banana pudding. Instead, I got a mouth full of defeat, and a head full of sorrow! And as I lay in the middle of the ring inside my own self pity...I cried.

Not because I lost, not because I was sad, but because I felt like that was supposed to be my moment. And I remember watching my hero Michael Jordan shed tears after he lost in the 1990 NBA Conference finals to the Detroit Pistons. On that night he told himself: NEVER AGAIN! Never again will I suffer defeat to Detroit. And well, if you follow basketball (which you probably don't,) the following year he made good on his promise. HE DIDN'T LOSE TO THEM! With that memory on my mind, I picked myself up out of the slump I was in. Since Indianapolis, I've studied your matches. Your defense against Green Ant. I saw how you treated others around you after capturing that Cup.

[youtube][/youtube]

You have no respect for your peers, none for the fans, and most importantly you don't have respect for the prestige that is the Young Lions Cup! Personally, that makes me sick to my stomach. I can understand being proud and being confident, but you walk around with the aura that you can't be beat!

On Thursday, November 01, 2012 at 8:52 pm you tweeted "Wrestlers bark for my #YLCX I go Mike Vick". Ha-ha. Well, consider me a dog with the heart of a lion! Give me one more chance.

Give me a chance and I will pour out my heart and soul for the world to see. And on that day the world will witness the fall of Mr. Touchdown and the rise of A.C.H.! I got this feelin’ inside that keeps me focus, that keeps me on a mission for the world to listen. A premonition on what our wonderful fathers had in vision. I'm a wrestler’s delight, these are the brakes. So here's the message, I'm on my way. I'm a rare form, in rare form, Young Simba, I am KING!

#GetAtMeKhrisWolfe #Motivation
ACH

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Delirious:

11/15/2012: {Translated from German:}

Things you do will come back to you.

Learn from this Mantis Black.

Karmic Justice exists.

Learn from this Mantis Black.

We inevitably face the consequences of our impure actions.

Learn from this Mantis Black.

I and I the root of suffering for one Crossbones.

His pain now my pain.

Karmic Justice exists.

Learn from this Mantis Black.

Every volitional activity is inevitably accompanied by its due effect.

Proven by I and I's absence.

Learn from this Mantis Black.

Crossbones vanished due to Delirious.

NOW.

Delirious vanished due to Crossbones.

The seed that is sown is the fruit you reap there from.

I and I's past sins allow Mantis Black to gain victory in Trios.

An unanticipated occurrence that adds to the vanity of Mantis Black.

I have received my consequence.

I and I's soul now clean.

Learn from this Mantis Black.

Full circle.

Mantis Black has caused the suffering of many.

Mantis Black has manipulated the masses.

Mantis Black seeks selfish gain at the expense of others.

Now the stars have aligned.

Karmatic justice is falling hard on Mantis Black.

Mantis Black's golden ambition foiled by a serpent.

Mantis Black has inflicted terror throughout his nefarious existence.

Now Mantis Black is inflicted WITH the very terror he has created.

The suffering will continue.

The suffering is just.

The suffering is predestined.

The suffering is karmatic justice.

We are the monsters created by others.

Mantis Black creates the monsters

Who is the real monster.

I and I's return is unknown.

The serpent will continue to command.

The outcasts will continue to feed.

A finale is upon us.

End.
DELIRIOUS

[cero2k]

11/16/2012: Before I wrote this, I had to air a few grievances to the Director of Fun. And maybe I am supposed to use our liaison for this, but he has a tendency to ruffle feathers. And I'm coming to extend an olive branch.
All I'm looking for are certain assurances. Certain guarantees that any professional athlete would want, and that, frankly, I've earned. Just look at how the fans have taken to me since putting this mask on! I got a bigger ovation in Chicago than Generico did.

I'm tired of having to look over my shoulder all the time. And the fans have proven what I said in my last blog to be true: you throw on a mask around here, and all of a sudden you are somebody. Did I become a better wrestler for putting this thing over my face? No. But people recognize my skills now, after years of wallowing in obscurity. Now I find a place to work regularly, and I have to fear for my safety? Your back on the active duty roster, Mike. Get over it.

[youtube][/youtube]

Look, I'm not here to pick a fight. I'm here to ask you to listen to your friend Jigsaw! Let it go. The GEKIDO are here to stay and to get the acclaim we always deserved. We're not going anywhere. So get used to it. Why can't we all get along?

I'd HATE to have to resort to lowering myself to your level. Maybe I'll take out my frustrations on your little buddy Fire Ant this Sunday in Manhattan.


THE SHARD

[cero2k]

11/20/2012: It's been a weird year.
We were los Campeones de Parejas.

I broke my back.

Icarus lost the titles to 3.0 while I was hurt.

I came back.

Chuck and I won the titles from 3.0 becoming the ONLY two-time Campeones de Parejas in CHIKARA History.

We lost the titles to guys from ROH?...

I kicked a small Asian woman in the face at King of Trios? :)

[youtube][/youtube]

Needless to say, I've had a wide range of emotions. Through my complex mathematical equations and thorough investigation of my use of emoticons, I've concluded that when we LOSE los Campeonatos de Parejas, I am sad... BUT...BUT...when we WIN them, I am happy.

I've also concluded that I get EXTREMELY, IRRATIONALLY OVERJOYED when I happen to superkick a tiny Japanese woman dressed as a Native American warrior in the mush...but really? What's the chance of that happening again, ya know? It's like hitting the lottery, man.

I would like to be happy again. I don't see any 90 lb. Tatanka-garb wearing girls from Japan roaming the streets right now, so it looks like winning los Campeonatos De Parejas for a 3rd time will have to do the trick! And all Chuck and I need is Point Number Three.

This may seem like a random reference but just follow me here...any of you guys ever seen that movie "Catfish"? It's about a dude who falls in love with a chick over Facebook, and *here comes a spoiler even though it's painfully obvious what the swerve is going to be...so don't complain when I just ruin it for you because you'd have to be an idiot not to realize where the movie is headed just from the description alone.* It turns out that the girl isn't the girl she says she is. She made up this HUGE lie, and pretended to be someone that she wasn't just to get this dude to fall in love with her.

That's kind of like you, 3.0.

[youtube][/youtube]

You've got everyone fooled. You've created this huge facade. You're the drop dead gorgeous model on Facebook that just happens to live 600 miles away. You've got people believing that you guys are actual WINNERS. Heck, some people even think that you're a half-way decent tag team! Ha. That's cute...but you can't Catfish me, bro. Math and Emoticons are very powerful weapons, but it just takes common sense to figure out that 3.0 didn't beat the ACTUAL champions the night they "reached the promise land." You idiots beat Chuck Taylor and Icarus. Not "the most decorated tag team in CHIKARA history" Johnny Gargano and Chuck Taylor! Chuck wasn't even in the deciding fall! That was Icarus. What happens when a 100% healthy, 100% adorable Johnny Gargano returns to the fold? Easy! 3.0 doesn't stand a chance against us. You guys showed your true colors as the biggest choke artists in CHIKARA history. How long was your reign again? You failed in your first defense! First round at King of Trios? Gone. Are you considered good by Canadian standards? What happened in Vaughan back in March was a fluke. You've done nothing to prove otherwise.

On December 2nd, live on iPPV, we will expose you as the ugly, morbidly obese, crazy cat lady that you are, and we will have our 3 points...and then? We bring those belts back where they belong.

Don't worry, CHIKARA. Your heroes are here to save the day,
JG (Johnny Gargano)

[cero2k]

11/22/2012: Marty Jannetty and the 1-2-3 Kid, can I ask you a quick question? Are you guys the type who are flattered, or the type that get upset when you hear younger people say to you: "OMG, I grew up watching you on TV!"
I mean, it seems like 20 years ago, we'd watch you guys every Monday night, then we'd rent every Coliseum Home Video from Blockbuster featuring you dudes!

Wait a minute.

That was 20 years ago!

The very first wrestling card Nick and I ever attended back in 1995, in our hometown of Rancho Cucamonga, CA, featured the 1-2-3 Kid. Dude, you dazzled us. We'd never seen anyone fly from the top rope like you! You WERE awesome! And Marty, we had your Hasbro figure, your Rockers t-shirt and we even grew our hair long, so we could look just like you! You WERE the greatest tag team wrestler Nick and I had ever seen.

Now guys, the CAPS LOCK button wasn't jammed when I kept using the word "WERE" in that last paragraph. I really wanted to emphasize the fact that your glory days are in the past. This is 2012. Your best days are certainly behind you.

[youtube][/youtube]

Let's talk about the Young Bucks: a handsome tag team, currently living their best days. A couple of guys who took what you guys did, decades ago, in the ring, and we do it 10 times better. We walk, talk and fly better than you two ever did. We always have the best match on the card, and we have the coolest moves. Movez*. If we had been on the circuit in your era, we would have taken your spot, taken your belts, and taken your money.

And, we've always been great...but 2012 has been an unreal year for us. We've hit our stride and have become legitimate rockstars here at CHIKARA. Since taking the tag team titles hostage back at "Chikarasaurus Rex," we've been absolutely untouchable. No one can stop us. We are the hottest thing in pro-wrestling today. Emphasis on TODAY.

On December 2nd, live at "Under The Hood," we'll hit that stage, strutting, chewing gum obnoxiously, and playing air guitar, like we always do. The bell will then ring, and we'll show the world why we're tag team specialists, super kicking people's faces into oblivion. We'll eventually hit "More Bang For Your Buck," and proudly defend these titles once again. Yes, you two taught us a lot. Marty passed his tag team knowledge onto us. He gave us the training we needed to become the hottest tag team in all of pro-wrestling. And Sean Waltman looked out for us more times than I can count. I haven't forgotten Orlando, as much as I'd like to, Sean.

Marty and the 1-2-3 Kid...a long, long time ago, you guys were the stars. But now, we wear the tassels and the bandanas. This is now OUR world. You think you can beat us, and take our titles? Not even on your best day. And December 2nd in Philadelphia won't be your best day - it will be ours. That's when the history books will show that the Young Bucks put an end to your legendary careers.


MJ (Matt Jackson)

[cero2k]

11/25/2012: Here we are again. A feeling I'm feeling for the 11th time. The end of a season. The time where we reflect on a year's worth of hard work and company growth. Remembering incredible matches, and still feeling the adrenaline of those sellout crowds in Chicago and New York City. The triumphant return of our longest-standing tradition, the Young Lions Cup. A record-breaking King of Trios despite the odds. Discovering giant pockets of the CHIKARMY all over the country, everywhere we go. We are riding that wave of momentum into the rapidly approaching "Under The Hood." However, all is not well.

The varied successes of CHIKARA this year are a testament to the locker room and its passion. They're a testament to the thousands of great fans we've performed in front of this year. They are not a testament to our "Director of Fun." (If I were speaking I would have utilized air quotes there.)

Wink Vavasseur, I'm going to come out and say it. Do you consider yourself a wrestling fan? What "business acumen" do you feel you possess that allows you to steer our ship? Did you have a WWF Wrestling Buddy as a child, or were you the kid embroidering your own cufflinks in your elementary school arts and crafts? While vast pockets of our society consider professional wrestling a joke, I can assure you that the men and women of CHIKARA do not. Appearing in a ring, contributing to a group effort, being part of something unique that is loved the world over...these are things we all take seriously. Especially Turtle.

Wink, if you released a greatest hits album, it would be a blank CD. Let's review, shall we? You let a group of invaders with a chip on their shoulder called GEKIDO waltz into the locker room, and tear our roster apart. You cave to many of their demands without hesitation. Worse yet, you let that idiot Derek Sabato be their liaison? My right hand hasn't forgotten what Sabato's jaw feels like, and the CHIKARA faithful haven't forgotten his attempts to ruin us just two years ago. You break up the Colony, arguably the most popular trio in CHIKARA history, and pair them with their GEKIDO counterparts? Are you mental? Get the net! You enter cobbled-together trios into the biggest, into the most-watched pro-wrestling tournament in the entire world, and blame it on a complicated mathematical system you have yet to produce any formula for?

Instead of embracing the talents of our Grand Champion, you make it a point to raise his ire at every opportunity. You disrespect and belittle the man that represents us all to the world. We haven't forgotten his quest, and his ultimate victory at the end of the "12 Large: Summit" in a match as emotional as any you will ever witness. This is some Russo stuff, bro.

I had a substitute teacher once who tried to convince me that Yosemite National Park was pronounced "Yos-e-might". You are that substitute teacher that the students can't take seriously, Wink.

Respect is earned, not given, and you have yet to earn one-half of one iota of it. Leonard F. Chikarason always had the best interests of the fans - the paying customers - in mind. That's how businesses grow. I might not have agreed with him, but at least Dieter had an obvious plan! How you got this job - how you keep this job - is beyond me. The best thing you could do to close out Season 11 is UNDO all the arbitrary and absurd changes you've made this year.

Do you make decisions by throwing darts at balloons on a cork board? Is that haircut really worth the $300 you pay for it? Is your daddy proud of you? Do you even have any friends? How many rhetorical questions can I ask in a row?

Wink, while your "methods" are confusing, the solution is not. It's time to cut the head off of the bumbling snake. I'll start the impeachment petition, and print the campaign signs myself: "Anyone But Wink in 2013."


BR (Bryce Remsburg)

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Scott "Jagged" Parker

1/26/2012: I woke up in a great mood this morning. Although my ribs feel like they have been trampled on by a heard of stampeding elephants, I can’t help but fondly look back upon the Cibernetico match. It was an experience, to say the least. The best part of that match for me personally had to be the fact the for the second time in the month of November, 3.0 defeated the current Campeones de Parejas, the Young Bucks. I also choose to forget the fact that I got crushed and eliminated by Nick Jackson’s 450 splash only minutes later, but he also tapped out to Big Magic’s Boston Crab...anyways, I’m getting carried away here.

I sat down and read Mr. Gargano’s blog and one would think that his words would have put a damper on my day. It didn’t. If I’m being honest, I thought it was an enjoyable read. I actually found the comparison of the movie “Catfish” to Shane and myself to be pretty clever. It made me smile like this

You cast a lot of stones in your blog Johnny, and the worst part of it is, you’re not completely wrong. Let me show you:

- 3.0 didn't beat the ACTUAL champions the night they "reached the promise land." - TRUE

- Chuck wasn't even in the deciding fall! That was Icarus. – TRUE

- First round at King of Trios? Gone. – TRUE

- How long was your reign again? You failed in your first defense! - TRUE

That’s a real laundry list of truth isn’t it? Come to think of it, maybe every single thing you said was true. Maybe 3.0 does have everyone fooled. Maybe we are nothing but a facade. Maybe we are the biggest choke artists in CHIKARA history. Maybe we are nothing more than that “drop dead gorgeous model on Facebook who lives 600 miles away.”

I keep reading what you wrote and the more I read it, the more it makes sense. You’re a beacon of truth, Mr. Gargano. How can I argue any of your logic? I mean, you even went so far as to ask and answer your own question! “What happens when a 100% healthy, 100% adorable Johnny Gargano returns to the fold? ? Easy! 3.0 doesn't stand a chance against us.”

If I go ahead and borrow from your powerful arsenal of math and emoticons, it’s easy to see that you’re right. It’s an obvious, foregone conclusion that there’s a higher chance of there being an NHL season than there is of 3.0 defeating F.I.S.T. at The Troc, December 2 live on iPPV.

It seems like the cat’s (pyjamas) are outta the bag. How foolish of us to try and “Catfish” you, bro. You’ve laid all the facts out in front of me and I guess I have no other option but to admit that you are undoubtedly, 100% right.

Now before I go hide my face in shame and drown my sorrows in festive, Holiday Eggnog, I’ll leave you with one question of my own...

What if you’re wrong, Johnny-boy?

Think about it.
SJP

[cero2k]

Blog By Dasher Hatfield

11/28/2012: Hello Hello Hello CHIKARA fans, it’s your good buddy Dasher Hatfield here, and I have a few choice words concerning the upcoming matchup I have with Icarus the 2nd of December on iPPV. In my eyes this all started long, long ago. I think back to Easton, PA to the first time Sugar Dunkerton and I teamed up. It was a 4-corner tag team style match against The Young Bucks, The Osirian Portal, and of course, F.I.S.T. Although we did not win the entire matchup, I did pin Icarus’ shoulders to the mat for a 3-count. Just a few months later in the very same building Shoogy and I had to wrestle F.I.S.T. in a tag match and the result was the same.

When I first arrived here at CHIKARA, I must admit I was in awe of the Winged ring warrior. Here stood a man who had collected the highest accolades that CHIKARA has to offer. He had held the Campeonatos de Parejas, he was a King of Trios winner, and he was even the final man standing in a Torneo Cibernetico, which is one of the most difficult things for any wrestler to accomplish. Icarus was a man who had already accomplished just about every goal I set for myself upon arrival in CHIKARA. Not only was I bit nervous getting in the ring with him, but I was extremely honored at the same time.

Needless to say, I was absolutely elated on both occasions after I had defeated one of CHIKARA’s finest. It reminded me of hitting my very first homerun or perhaps the first time I hit a sharp daisy cutter up the middle to knock in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth. On both occasions, I was welcomed by the joyful high fives or slaps on the backside from my teammates, but more importantly than that there was always a respectful tip of the hat sent in my direction from the opposing team’s pitcher. Sure he wasn’t happy about the outcome, but out of respect he gave the nod to the better man on that particular occasion. Perhaps I was in the wrong, or maybe just a tad naive, when I thought I would receive the same sign of respect from Icarus. When given the chance to display some form of sportsmanship, Icarus chose a different route. Instead of shaking my hand, he decided to flop around on the canvas kicking his feet and pouting like an infant.

Over the years, I have gotten to know Icarus. We have been opponents in just about every style matchup one can imagine. I now know that respect, sportsmanship, and fair play are all ideals that he just doesn’t display. It is a real shame that one of the most highly-decorated competitors to ever set foot in a squared circle can occasionally behave like such a crybaby. Like such a bad sport. If there's one thing this Hatfield cannot stomach - it's a bad sport.

Lately, Icarus has taken this behavior to an entirely new level. We have had two singles meetings these past few weeks and thanks to hard work and practice I was victorious both times! First, I bested him in Allentown at an event promoted by Wrestling is Fun!, and then I repeated this feat just 17 hours later when CHIKARA made its autumnal Manhattan engagement. Being the bottom feeder that you are, you had the gall to attack me after the bell. Not very gentlemanly. You then proceeded to claim that you were the winner of these matchups. This is an untruth. If there is one thing I have learned while playing baseball its that you cannot win them all. When you lose, you need to learn from your mistakes, practice harder, and take your game to the next level. Icarus claims that it was luck that I defeated him. Odd, the more I practice the luckier I seem to get.

You're a sore loser, Icarus, and a bad sport. Twice in recent weeks you've erred in this direction. Well, I guess the third time is going to be the charm for you, Icarus. When I pin you live on iPPV before the whole wrestling world this Sunday, you are going to give me that tip of the hat. You are going to give me that sign of respect. And if you walk into The Trocadero not knowing a thing about good sportsmanship, rest assured, you're going to walk out an enlightened individual.



DH

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Jigsaw:

11/29/2012: Why Jigsaw, Why?

That's the question people keep asking me: Why Jigsaw, why? Well let me ask you this: what is the value of a mentor?

A mentor is supposed to show you the way. A mentor is a guide. He can take something without shape, like a lump of clay, and mold it. I know the value of this, because I used to think I had the best mentor someone could ask for.

But these last few months have really opened my eyes. I'm nobody's sidekick. I'm not a follower. I'm not the stupid kid in elf shoes that gets captured and has to wait for Batman to come save him. I am my own man. I don't take orders. I make my own choices.

CHIKARA can be the springboard for the next generation of great wrestling talent. And when I look at The Shard, I don't see a guy that needs to be taught a lesson. I see a guy that needs a mentor to show him the way. He and I go way back. He's always had potential, ever since I met him - before I even came to the Wrestle Factory. He just lacked direction.

I'm going to show this jagged piece how to fit in. Maybe he never got the same breaks I did. Didn't have the benefit of the same training, the same opportunities. What if I take this guy under my wing? What if I show him the value of a mentor?

You think all of these guys have the exact same agenda as 17 did? You think all of these guys want the same things Derek Sabato wants? Let's see what happens when I aim them in a different direction.


JIG

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by DeviANT:

12/21/2012: Mr. Vavasseur, these words are for you, so pin your ears back.
Your new version of The Swarm isn't what it is set out to be. There’s one problem plain and simple: SOLDIER ANT. Anyone that saw "Under The Hood" - or any recent CHIKARA event - will tell you as much.

When I was teamed with partners that shared my ambition, like combatANT or The Shard or most recently Jigsaw, it was evident to the world...we accomplish whatever we set out to do! And it's one thing to be held back, and another thing to have your talent denied.

It was I who yanked off the defeatist Green Ant’s mask, when teamed with the classic Swarm!

It was I who pinned the deranged Mike Quackenbush, when teamed with The Shard!

It was I who attained the pinfall at the season finale iPay-Per-View, when teamed with The Shard and Jigsaw! Not Soldier Ant!

Well, he might have been standing in our corner of the ring, but I assure you Wink, one Soldier was M.I.A. at "Under The Hood."



Your CHIKARAbermetrics system proves that we can dominate all. It is a mathematical certainty...when everyone follows orders. YOU SAID we would be (and I quote,) “the strongest trio of ants,” but we didn't win King of Trios back in September. We were eliminated in the opening round!

How much longer will you allow him to flaunt his disobedience of you? Soldier Ant is screwing everything up and it isn't fair that others have to overcompensate as a result. I should be Young Lions Cup champ at the very least, if not a Campeon and a King of Trios. But Soldier Ant just doesn't respect your leadership, Wink. And every time he fails to work as a member of a team, he is mocking your authority. His constant disobedience and disrespect...I don't know how you can take the constant humiliation from Soldier Ant.

Who directs the fun around here, anyway?


deviANT

[cero2k]

you would expect that after so long since the complains started, something would have happened already to Wink and the CHIKARAbermetrics

[Big Red Machine]

you would expect that after so long since the complains started, something would have happened already to Wink and the CHIKARAbermetrics

It will happen soon enough. The Board of Directors (or whatever) needs time to act.

[cero2k]

you would expect that after so long since the complains started, something would have happened already to Wink and the CHIKARAbermetrics

It will happen soon enough. The Board of Directors (or whatever) needs time to act.

I just feel that people have been complaining for soo long and by the time KOT ended, it was obvious there is a huge problem. I was hoping for Wink to be fired or something by the season finale, so we would be left off with the "who will manage Chikara" cliffhanger

[Big Red Machine]

you would expect that after so long since the complains started, something would have happened already to Wink and the CHIKARAbermetrics

It will happen soon enough. The Board of Directors (or whatever) needs time to act.

I just feel that people have been complaining for soo long and by the time KOT ended, it was obvious there is a huge problem. I was hoping for Wink to be fired or something by the season finale, so we would be left off with the "who will manage Chikara" cliffhanger

Look how long it took them to get rid of Dieter, and that was deliberate heelishness and favoritism rather than just angry incompetence.

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Johnny Gargano:


12/27/2012: Season 11 was really weird.

The first thing you're probably thinking is - it's weird that F.I.S.T. didn't win King of Trios. I totally agree.

What makes it even weirder is that we had a new guy in the mix, assigned to us by the Director of Fun himself.

Sugar Dunkerton was given a spot in the world's most dangerous trio. He didn't earn that spot. It was just given to him. We're the most decorated threesome in CHIKARA history. Go check Wikipedia. It's all right there. Well, we were.

But when you assign us one of the losingest guys on the roster, guess what? Even the very best of us can get dragged down.

Our waterboy should refresh us. Instead, I am feeling anything but fresh.

Sugar, there are two things I know for sure about you. You lose a lot. And you talk a lot. You talk too much, really. On Twitter, in person, it's blah blah blah all the frickin' time.

Well it's time to put up AND shut up. Both of those things. That's a new catchphrase I just made up. You want to be on the team so bad? How 'bout you earn your stripes? Getting new gear with our logo on it is like all the fanboys walking around with Captain America shirts on. Just because they wear that doesn't all of a sudden mean they are one of the Avengers. If it did, there would be like 10 million Avengers. And that's stupid.

Wink, you are a man that understands math and stuff. So you will get this - Sugar is ruining our stats. I'm sure you never saw this as a permanent change anyway. Well if Sugar doesn't start carrying his weight, can we trade him?

A free agent system would help clear up a lot of the CHIKARAbermetrics statistical anamolies, dontcha think?


JG

[cero2k]

From Wink Vavasseur
1/2/2013: CHIKARA,

From the desk of your boss:

Happy Holidays! Happy New Year! Blah blah blah... Now that we’ve gotten the formalities out of the way, let’s get down to brass tacks. Over the past week or so, I’ve had some rare downtime, and have had the distinct misfortune of being brought up to speed on the recent CHIKARA blog posts. Allow me to make a number of things perfectly clear:

- I am the Director of Fun, and that is extremely unlikely to change.

- My word is bond and I will have no problem backing it up.

- The changes I have made to the CHIKARA roster will stand. Not just for Season 12. Forever.

John Gargano, you’ve publicly complained that my addition of Sugar Dunkington to the F.I.S.T. trio cost you a chance at winning the King of Trios. You've implied that perhaps my math was wrong. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’ve used Sugar’s talents incorrectly? He certainly seems motivated to make this new arrangement work.

While I understand that you’re no math whiz Mr. Guy-From-Cleveland, it defies logic that a trio consisting of four members would fail to advance in a competition for three-man teams. This isn’t a potato sack race. I’m not tying your fists behind your back with Sugar, I’m giving you another tool in your arsenal with which to succeed. I think it’s pretty clear that I’m not the one who screwed up here. So, get your F.I.S.T.'s fists in gear, and use Sugar’s penchant for talking (a lot, yes) to your advantage.

Ants Fire and devi-, I know I’ve spoken a bit in the past about sports math, but maybe I should introduce you to a different kind of numbers game. Colony merchandise has been selling out left and right. T-shirts, keychains, magnets, posters, trading cards, masks – all of it selling out in 2012. If we sold Colony-themed ant traps, you can bet the CHIKARMY would buy them all up. The simple fact is that the Colony moves merchandise, moreso in Season 11 than ever before.

Monetarily speaking, they are the most valuable act on the roster. (How's that feel, #GrandChamp?) Even if I agreed with you that my moves were erroneous (which is not something I’m inclined to agree with, mind you,) it would be fool’s logic to now put all the Ants back where they were a year ago. I know neither of you are called BusinessAnt, but you both must see why that just wouldn’t make sense at this time. So, allow me to reiterate my previous point: my roster changes will stand. Permanently. When the Director of Fun makes a decision, it stays decided.

Enjoy your 2013, gang; it’s sure to be a strong one.
WV

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Tim Donst:
1/16/2013: I wish I could say I’m excited for Season 12, but I'm not. It’s been a long time since I felt anything for wrestling, and truth be told I’m not sure how many more seasons I have left in me. How many more matches I can wrestle that won’t catch the right eyes. How many more great promos will fall on deaf ears. I picture myself sorta like a Vincent Van Gogh - one who will not truly be appreciated, adored or remotely respected until he is long, long gone.

So let me paint you a picture. A 16-year-old kid finds his way to the Chikara Wrestle Factory much to the dismay of his loving family and long term highschool sweetheart. The unprofessional wrestler fights 3 long years for a debut regardless of the fact that his parents are now divorced and his future wife, is no longer even his girlfriend. But it’s OK, 'cause "wrestling is fun" right?

It was fun to lose my hair. It was fun to lose his pride. But just when the pond couldn’t get any deeper, it decided to become a lake. In 3 seconds, 2 men in 1 match revealed to the world on iPPV that the only thing greater than Karma is Destiny. Because It doesn't matter how much cardio I did, or how much weight I could throw up - after all, he is only as good as Destiny chooses him to be. Destiny doesn’t want him to be “the man.”

You see when Destiny reaches for your hand there are only two options. You can grab it’s 5 fingers tightly and innocently trust it to guide you through it’s chosen route to safety... or you can clench your fingers even tighter, make a fist and punch Destiny in the face. But I’ve discovered a whole new way. Why not hold grab a hold of Destiny’s hand and walk it down a cliff?

Wrestling is Dead.
TD

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Jigsaw:
1/23/2013: It's a new year and it's time for a new start. A fresh start. Not every change is for the better. But this one is.

People forget that I'm the most decorated product of the Chikara Wrestle Factory. Young Lions Cup. Cibernetico. King of Trios. Campeon de Parejas. I've won 'em all. Not Hallowicked. Not Frightmare. Not any other partner you could drum up, Mike. I am the breakout star of CHIKARA.

I've been places you've never been, Mike. The Impact Zone. Matsushita IMP Hall. That's because I understand that to get ahead, you need to win. You don't throw away matches on DQ's because you can't keep your cool. You don't throw away points toward a championship match. You keep your eye on the ball. You taught me how to win. Now I guess it's my turn to teach you a thing or two.

It's like every kung fu movie I used to watch on cable. The student becomes the master. I've heard you say in interviews that you think Hallowicked might be the best wrestler to ever come out of the Factory. I heard he's even helping with the training there now. Wonder why you didn't ask me, Mike? Maybe you're afraid I'll outshine you, the same way the Shard and I are going to outshine every other team in 2013.

We are the dream team now. Not a team with Johnny Saint on it. Not a team with Manami Toyota. The dream team is Jigsaw and The Shard. And Mike, trust me when I tell you: we are your worst nightmare. It's just a matter of time before we are wearing Los Campeonatos, and no one you could team with, hand pick or hire can stop that from happening. And what are you going to do then? Call up Shane Storm and finally cash in those points you've been sitting on for years?

There is no one in pro-wrestling today that can stop us.


JIG