BRM Reviews the 3/14/2013 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- OH COME ON! Just when I thought they were actually going to start the show with a damn match. Well… at least they kayfabe tried. Anyway, Aces & Eights beat up Chavo and Hernandez, but the babyfaces are nowhere to be seen.
Drat. Bully’s stupid “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” catchphrase is back.
Anyway, Bully gives a reason for the swerve with Wes and Garrett attacking in the beginning of the match at Lockdown that, while stupid, does make a degree of logical sense, so at least there’s that.

STING BACKSTAGE- Sting talks about how much it bothers him that Bully tricked them all. Well, Stinger, he’s right there in the ring. Why don’t you get your buddies and go beat Aces & Eights up or something?

There is a big sign that says “BRING BACK IVELISSE.”Just thought I’d point that out to you, TNA.

MICKIE JAMES & VELVET SKY vs. GAIL KIM & TARA (w/Jessie Godderz)- 4.25/10
So let me get this straight: TNA was going to give Chavo and Hernandez another shot at the titles even though they lost completely cleanly last a night, but Gail, who was physically assaulted by the referee, does not get another title shot? Anyway, apparently Brooke has put Taryn on probation. That’s good… but Jessie Godderz is back out at ringside with Tara. What the hell? Is there some rule that says that Brooke can only punish one person at a time?
As for the match itself… it was well worked, but I didn’t like the important stuff. I think Mickie or Tara getting the win would have been much more productive than Velvet going over, but my main gripe with this match was the stuff with Gail and Taryn. It was good… but there are THREE MONTHS until the next PPV. We just found out that Taryn got put on probation a few minutes ago! Having Taryn slap Gail is the sort of thing you build up to for MONTHS!
During the first week you just hype up that Brooke will make a decision next week (or maybe some other company official because Brooke is too distraught from the Bully Ray stuff), and you go back to a male ref for the women’s match. Then, next week, you have the official tell Taryn she can keep being a referee, but if she ever puts her hands on a competitor again, she will be in trouble. Then, for the next six week or so, you have Gail taking more and more liberties. She takes a long time to break holds, and uses eye pokes a lot, and have her get in Taryn’s face whenever Taryn tells her to stop. Then you have her get in Taryn’s face more often. Then you have her start to pie-face Taryn like she did in this segment, and have Taryn not respond to it. Then, the sixth week (which should be about a month before Slammiversary) you do what they did in this segment: have Gail pie-face Taryn and have Taryn respond with a slap (which you have now been building up to for two months). The next week you have Gail complaining to Brooke, but have Brooke say that Gail shouldn’t have put her hands on the referee. The week after that, you have the same thing happen, but this time it directly leads to Gail getting pinned. Then you have Gail tell Taryn that if she wants to get involved in the outcome of the matches so badly, she should face her at Slammiversary.
Sorry for that fantasy-booking rant. Anyway, back to the show.

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- this was the first time that I have enjoyed one of these segments in the Aces & Eights clubhouse. This was the first time that they didn’t come across like D-movie villains.

ROBBIE E. vs. ROB TERRY- no rating. Good squash.
Terry’s new finisher looked much lamer tonight than it did at Lockdown. Terry got some “FEED ME MORE!” chants, but also got some legitimate chants for himself during his post-match dancing, so good for him.

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE AGAIN- and we’re back to just randomly picking someone to beat up. At least now there is a good reason why the cameraman doesn’t see who they are going to beat up.

HOGAN & STING BACKSTAGE- eh.

ARIES, ROODE, & STING BACKSTAGE- LOVED IT! Roode & Aries are easily the best thing TNA has going right now.

ACES & EIGHTS JUMP KURT- seen it before, don’t care.

KAZ & DANIELS HAVE ROAD WARRIORS FACE PAINT- FREAKIN’ AWESOME! These two can give Aries and Roode a run for their money. James Storm then came out and cut a very good promo, leading to…

JAMES STORM vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (w/Kazarian)- 5/10
Good for the time it was given. I didn’t like the Lung Blower as a finish here. I think a roll-up would have worked just as well. After the match Kaz and Daniels beat Storm down until AJ comes out and makes the save, chasing the off. Then…

AJ ATTACKS JAMES STORM- totally saw this one coming, but that’s because I like it a lot and think that is the best thing for AJ right now. He’s just an angry mother*cker who hates the world and everyone in it at the moment.

JOSEPH PARK & MATT MORGAN SEGMENT- LOVED IT!
Also, we get some build for a match for next week.

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE AGAIN- eh.

FOOTAGE OF BROOKE’S REACTION TO BULLY’S TURN- I really didn’t like the way that they spliced this in with a video package. We all know what happened. Just show us the footage of Brooke so the focus can be on her. I think the footage of Brooke's reaction only totaled about thirty seconds.

STING vs. AUSTIN ARIES (w/Bobby Roode)- 6.75/10
Was going great until those damn heelish Aves & Eights screwed it up! GRRR!

WILL HOGAN FIRE ACES & EIGHTS-
First of all, I didn’t know that all of them were under TNA contract. Second of all, if they won access to Impact at BFG, then it won’t matter anyway. Third of all, we know he won’t. As he said before in his segment with thing Hogan knows that Aces & Eights are “holding the company hostage.” If Hogan was willing to fire them, it wouldn’t be much of a hostage situation.
So Hogan comes out and tells Aces & Eights that he won’t fire them. Instead, he is “empowering” everyone in the TNA locker room to band together to fight Aces & Eights… which is exactly how this was portrayed back in the beginning! And how it should have been portrayed this whole damn time! Then the whole locker room (or really just the top babyfaces and Matt Morgan, which shows you how effective Hogan’s leadership is) comes out and fights Aces & Eights… which is a segment we got back in August! This is the sort of thing that really makes it feel like TNA is just spinning their wheels creatively on this feud. Aces & Eights wind up beating them all up, too. Well… at least Aces & Eights aren’t being booked like pussies anymore.

OR NOT! Bully backs down from Hulk Hogan, an almost sixty year old man who has had multiple back surgeries in the past few years AND IS CURRENTLY ON CRUTCHES!

Overall, a decent show from TNA. The in-ring stuff really wasn’t there and they did a lot of stuff I didn’t like, but there were some awesome segments here and the show was still fun. Even more surprisingly, the commentary was decent from all three men, so congrats to Tenay and Taz for not sucking for once. Taz even came close to using the term “sacrificial lamb” correctly!

[cero2k]

OR NOT! Bully backs down from Hulk Hogan, an almost sixty year old man who has had multiple back surgeries in the past few years AND IS CURRENTLY ON CRUTCHES!

you'd be surprised how an old man coming at you on crutches can be intimidating.

I think the thing i enjoyed most and i'm really looking forward too is the crowd chants. We got huge "Austin Aries" chants when facing Sting. The Feed Me More chants, idk, everything just feels soo much real now

[Big Red Machine]

OR NOT! Bully backs down from Hulk Hogan, an almost sixty year old man who has had multiple back surgeries in the past few years AND IS CURRENTLY ON CRUTCHES!

you'd be surprised how an old man coming at you on crutches can be intimidating.

I think the thing i enjoyed most and i'm really looking forward too is the crowd chants. We got huge "Austin Aries" chants when facing Sting. The Feed Me More chants, idk, everything just feels soo much real now

For me the biggest change was the arena. It just looks so much more professional to be in a big (ish) arena. That's why I love it when ROH runs the Manhattan Center or Center Stage or the Ted Reeve Arena because it just looks so much better.