BRM Reviews the 4/11/2013 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

2 OUT OF 3 FALLS TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH IN WHICH IF CHAVO AND HERNANDEZ LOSE, THEY CAN NEVER TEAM AGAIN: Austin Aries & Bobby Roode(c) vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Hernandez- 6/10
A great start, but the rest of the match wasn’t anything to write home about. I do not understand why they switched the belts here. Texas is the only place where Chavo and Hernandez are over, and seeing as how TNA doesn’t planning to be running every show in Texas, I am just baffled by this. The feud everyone is clamoring for is Aries & Roode vs. Bad Influence, so why not give us that?

BROOKE HOGAN & JOEY RYAN BACKSTAGE- Brooke yells at Joey for embarrassing her last week with his conduct was a referee. Sorry, Brooke, but the only one who embarrassed you last week is you. What did you think was going to happen if you let the guy who always talks about being “sleazy” to referee a matmchj with four hot women in it?

DIXIE CARTER NOW HAS HER OWN ACTION FIGURE- who the f*ck is going to but this? Aside from Womenwrestlerfan, I mean.

ACES & EIGHTS SHOW UP AT THE ARENA- they leave their bikes ON and just walk away. That sounds like a great way to get them stolen.

JOSEPH PARK & DEVON SEGMENT- Joseph has drawn up a writ of annulment for Brooke and Bully. Devon shows up and rips it up, then tells Jospeh to “stay out of the family business” and attacks him with a steel chain.

GAIL KIM vs. TARYN TERRELL- 1.5/10
So instead of the super-sleazy Joey Ryan, Brooke Hogan has hired ODB, a drunkard with personal animosity towards most of the women in the division.

GUT CHECK JUDGES BACKSTAGE- Snow and Prichard come off like idiots, praising Pearce for cheating. Danny Davis at least came off intelligently. Of course, despite the fact that all they did during this segment was praise Pearce, they give Magno the chance to earn the contract.

THE CAMERA GUY TALKS TO HOGAN- eh. It got over what it needed to get over.

AJ & ANDERSON IN THE PARKINGLOT- holy crap that doesn’t even look like AJ anymore.

HOGAN, AJ, & JAMES STORM SEGMENT- DUD!
Bad Influence was good here, but the problem with this segment was the ending. Hogan tells AJ that he will face James Storm next week on Impact. Didn’t Hogan say last week that he would fire AJ if AJ didn’t make a decision? Well AJ didn’t make a decision, yet not only does Hogan not fire him… he puts him in a big match next week!

KURT ANGLE PROMO- it will be Kurt Angle vs. Wes & Garrett next week.

JOEY RYAN vs. ROB TERRY- good squash, but involving a guy who shouldn’t be get getting squashed.

HOGAN, BROOKE, & MORGAN BACKSTAGE- Last week Hogan was so insistent that just two security guys wouldn’t be enough to prevent Aces & Eights from hurting Brooke if they wanted to… but this week he is fine with her just taking the one fat guy. The stuff with Morgan was okay.

DOES MAGNO GET A CONTRACT- no. While Magno didn’t impress me enough, I did think he was more impressive than most of the other nobodies who have gotten contracts?

HOGAN TELLS ACES & EIGHTS NOT TO INTERFERE IN HIS MATCH TONIGHT- um… okay.

FULL METAL MAYHEM MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE- 7.75/10
Keneley and Tenay got all bent out of shape when Taz gave Bully a hammer, but had no problems at all when Brooke Hogan physically interfered in the match by slapping Bully Ray.
The match itself was great, with an absolutely sick finish.

Overall, a decent episode of Impact, but it didn't have enough wrestling on it.

[cero2k]

DOES MAGNO GET A CONTRACT- no. While Magno didn’t impress me enough, I did think he was more impressive than most of the other nobodies who have gotten contracts?

i was almost sure Magno was getting the contract just so TNA had an actual luchador, but i guess i was wrong. also, was this the first time someone gets 2 straight 'NO' ?

[Big Red Machine]

DOES MAGNO GET A CONTRACT- no. While Magno didn’t impress me enough, I did think he was more impressive than most of the other nobodies who have gotten contracts?

i was almost sure Magno was getting the contract just so TNA had an actual luchador, but i guess i was wrong. also, was this the first time someone gets 2 straight 'NO' ?

No. Kris Louis got two straight "no"s. Also, I think Evan Markopoulos, (the really young kid) might have gotten two straight "no"s.

[badnewzxl]

I was VERY dissappointed with this show.

Why have a 2 out of 3 falls mtch and have the first two falls go down within the first 3mins?! It was pretty much just a regular tag match.

BRM you took the words right outta my mouth with the Brooke Hogan/Joey Ryan thing. And tho I love ODB, I see your point. Here's an idea Brooke: LET YOUR ACTUAL REFS REF THE KO'S MATCHES, YA DINGBAT!!!

And the fact that they gave Magno the shot was absolute BS. They buried him when they were discussing it, then they take him over Pearce? They choose the guy who couldn't pull off his own move set over the guy who played his character perfectly, all around.

FMM was good; I just hated the spots with Brooke; they are trying their damndest to get us to care about this talentless waste and it ain't workin AT ALL!

[Big Red Machine]

I was VERY dissappointed with this show.

Why have a 2 out of 3 falls mtch and have the first two falls go down within the first 3mins?! It was pretty much just a regular tag match.

I agree with you about this, but I was totally fine with at least the first fall being the way that they did it. I just would have preferred to have more time between the first and second falls.

FMM was good; I just hated the spots with Brooke; they are trying their damndest to get us to care about this talentless waste and it ain't workin AT ALL!

THIS!

[cero2k]

was I the only one who thought that Brooke was definitely turning on Hogan yesterday? It's like the whole show was built for that, having Brooke go out there without Hogan, then the perfect match for Brooke to throw Hardy off the ladder or pass the hammer to Ray since A&8s was not supposed to come out. Morgan calling out Hogan about Brooke. Brooke fucking up decisions about the KOs division (thou this is usually normal). I was really disappointed that it didn't happen.

[Nic]

Honestly I liked the show more then normal (still isn't saying much)

the 2 out of 3 falls match...was ok, but I kind of figured it'd go to chavo and and whats his name since they were in Texas.. Seems every "big match" goes to whoever was born/raised there

the Park/D-von seg was ok, it just seemed to add very little to the over all segment
((also did Park give up on looking for his "brother" Abyss? i must of missed that))

I liked the Mogan/Hogan bit and some of the Hogan/Styles/Storm seg...but like it was pointed out, last week Hogan said he'd fire Styles if he didnt decide...so why not can his ass? (hogan or someone either (1) has Alzheimer's or (2) they don't watch their product or (3) just don't give a shit) but the deal with Bad Influence was really good and redeem the whole seg for me

((tho Storm came out and said "Im not here to fight, hell Im not here to drink" but got into the ring and said "Im going to kick your ass" to Styles))

The "Knock outs" match just bored me and once again (im sure everyone knew it) that Double T would pull off the win

the main event- good stuff I was a bit shocked, but I was also thinking a FMM match was a steel cage ((but ive been wrong before))

I think they should have turned Brooke heel during this match...have her worried about Hardy, Slap Bully in the face, but towards the end have her help "her man"...

[cero2k]

The "Knock outs" match just bored me and once again (im sure everyone knew it) that Double T would pull off the win

not sure if referring to name or bra size :p

[Nic]

The "Knock outs" match just bored me and once again (im sure everyone knew it) that Double T would pull off the win

not sure if referring to name or bra size :p

can you imagine a double T set of boobs

[Big Red Machine]

was I the only one who thought that Brooke was definitely turning on Hogan yesterday? It's like the whole show was built for that, having Brooke go out there without Hogan, then the perfect match for Brooke to throw Hardy off the ladder or pass the hammer to Ray since A&8s was not supposed to come out. Morgan calling out Hogan about Brooke. Brooke f***ing up decisions about the KOs division (thou this is usually normal). I was really disappointed that it didn't happen.

That would just be so damn Russo

[Big Red Machine]

the Park/D-von seg was ok, it just seemed to add very little to the over all segment
((also did Park give up on looking for his "brother" Abyss? i must of missed that))

Yes, because TNA is dumb and has no idea ow to follow up on things.

I think they should have turned Brooke heel during this match...have her worried about Hardy, Slap Bully in the face, but towards the end have her help "her man"...

Why? What purpose would it serve? All it would do would be let the heels say "ha ha, we fooled you!" again, and it would make every segment with Brooke between now and Lockdown have been a waste of time.