BRM Reviews the 6/6/2013 Impact (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- HORRID!
Bully says that Aces & Eights debuted at Slammiversary last year, which is untrue. He also says that he beat Sting single-handedly. I absolutely hate when heels ignore the obvious reality. Why try to lie about this? For heat? Wouldn’t it make more sense for Bully to put over his “brotherhood?” Bully says that there is no more competition in TNA.
Hogan then comes out and tells him that next week we will reveal who the BFG Series competitors will be. He also says that tonight we will see Bully Ray face “the Enigma” Jeff Hardy. Bully gets very nervous all of a sudden and says that he doesn’t want to face Jeff Hardy but Hogan says “too bad. I’m the GM I can do whatever I want.” So much for the whole “we need to get the title of off Bully because it gives him so much power” thing, huh?
Hogan then says that we will have what is basically a ladder-match variation of Hammer on a Pole match, but he didn’t just outright say it. Instead he beat around the bush to avoid saying hammer for at least a minute even though everyone could already tell it was a hammer based on the things Hogan was saying (well, actually, if you go strictly by what Hogan said, this will be a ladder match with another ladder hanging above the ring and Jeff Hardy will have a hammer. Hogan misspeaks in ways that change the meaning of things WAY too often).
The thing that bugs me the most about this segment (well… the second most; the thing that bugs me the most is the way that it nerfs the whole thing about the title giving Bully Ray power) is that not only was it unnecessary, but it would have made the show SO MUCH BETTER to not do it. Bully wouldn’t have to be afraid of Jeff, it wouldn’t have screwed over the whole “title gives Bully power” thing, Hogan wouldn’t have rambled and screwed up both the match stip and Jeff Hardy’s nickname (for the second time in five days!), the show would have had fifteen more minutes to use for other things, and it would have been better to announce the main event a few days in advance to create some damn hype! Everybody wins, nobody loses.


CHAVO & HERNANDEZ BACKSTAGE- apparently they are both in the BFG Series. Oh. Great. That means we’ll have to deal with more Chavo in a prominent role. Goody.

BFG SERIES QUALIFYING MATCH: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hernandez- 5/10
Might be the best singles match I’ve seen out of Chavo since joining TNA (or at least that didn’t involve Aries or Roode).
Apparently when Chavo said they were in the BFG Series, it meant that they had a qualifying match against each other. When you have a pre-tape, there is no excuse for not making certain that your guy says the right thing!

On commentary, Tenay tells us that between tonight and next week’s show, we will fill the remaining spots in the BFG Series. Then what was Hogan talking about when he said that next week would be a special BFG Series selection show?

I just noticed this this week, but why is the TNA security escorting Aces & Eights through the crowd? I know the actual reason for it, but they should have a different security guy than “Ronnie from Atlas Security” who Brooke and Hulk always talk about.

JOSEPH PARK & DEVON SEGMENT- good. Taking the initiative to start a physical confrontation feels like a step forward for Joseph. Devon picking up a padded chair to hit Joseph with… not so good.

DEVON & KNUX LOOK FOR ABYSS- lame. They just went around backstage opening doors. At any minute I thought they were going to bump into Abyss, then give us a Scooby Doo-style chase where they run in one door of the hallway and pop out of another one with Abyss chasing behind them. Also, when Devon put down his )admittedly silly) padded chair in the last segment, I assumed it was because he was going to find a more effective weapon before he went looking for Abyss. Apparently not.

ROBBIE E. PROMO- Apparently Robbie E, will get a chance to qualify for the Bound For Glory Series. Robbie, who (according to profightdb) has not won a match since August 23, 2012… which would have been during LAST YEAR’S BFG SERIES! It’s a f*cking tournament for the right to challenge for the World Heavyweight Title at the biggest show of the year. Someone who hasn’t won a match in nine and a half months should not even have a chance to be in it!

BFG SERIES QUALIFYING MATCH: Samoa Joe vs. Robbie E.- complete and total squash. No one who is being given a chance to qualify or the BFG Series should get squashed.

MICKIE JAMES & VELVET SKY BACKSTAGE- Mickie was great here. She comes off as just so perfectly insincere! I’m not sure why she is ducking Velvet, though. Shouldn’t Mickie want to get Velvet’s rematch out of the way while Velvet is injured? Hopefully this will be the start of a great heel reign for Mickie.

RAMPAGE JACKSON & KURT ANGLE SEGMENT- Rampage says he sued to be a wrestling fan growing up. Kurt comes out and tells Rampage that this is his world and he will have to go through Kurt at some point. Sure. Why not? Of course, TNA has had King Mo under contract for almost a year and he hasn’t had a match in TNA yet, so I doubt this segment will pay off ay time in the next twelve months.

While hyping up the main event, they insist on playing the clip of Hogan’s hilariously botched explanation of the stips rather than just having the announcers tell us the correct stip.


JEFF HARDY PROMO- short and sweet

BULLY RAY & MR. ANDERSON BACKSTAGE- Bully says that getting rid of D’Lo is the best thing that ever happened to Aces & Eights? This seems a bit extreme, don’t you think? Bully also wonders why TNA hasn’t put anyone from Aces & Eights in the BFG Series. Hmmm… let’s think about this. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they have spent the past year attacking TNA wrestlers and management. Why the hell would TNA reward them for this? Or maybe they think that having an Aces & Eights guy challenge the leader of Aces & Eights for the world title in the main event of their biggest show of the year might lead to some sort of BS Fingerpoke finish? I absolutely hate it when heels don’t think before they speak!

We also get some heavy indication that Anderson is will get the now-vacant VP spot. Shouldn’t it go to a more senior member who has show leadership skills, like Devon? And wasn’t Bully angry at Anderson for the AJ thing just last week?

CHRIS SABIN, JAMES STORM, & GUNNER vs. KENNY KING, AUSTIN ARIES, & BOBBY ROODE- 5.75/10
I’m pretty sure neither man involved in the fall was legal. I would have liked to see some double team moves out of Storm and Gunner to get them over as a team.

BROOKE AND TARYN BACKSTAGE- Taryn was good. Brooke was not. Brooke once again avoids some asking her if she is in love with Bully.

MICKIE JAMES vs. TAELER HENDRIX-3.5/10
Glad to see a Gut Check person finally get a match on Impact. I’m pretty annoyed that Mickie, who is both the champ and the bigger star, entered first. I can tell that I am going to love heel Mickie, but I didn’t like the way this match went. It is way too early for Mickie to be doing things like faking injuries and she shouldn’t need to resort to dishonest tactics to beat a woman having just her second match as a member of the TNA roster. They should have had Mickie go over clean, but be patronizing throughout the match (like she was doing in the beginning). You have four months until your next PPV. There is no reason to rush anything. The first match Mickie should get a dirty win in should be her rematch with Velvet.

FURTHER SEGMENTS OF DEVON & KNUX LOOK FOR ABYSS – Devon Knux came off as just plain goofy. The whole thing where Devon went away for a minute and we got to see Abyss’ shadow drag Knux off was also too goofy for a stable like Aces & Eights to be involved in.
Abyss then tells Devon that he is going to take the TNA TV Title belt “into the Abyss.” So is he going to eat the belt? I hope that is what that means, because the other possibility is extremely painful just to think about.

HYPE FOR NEXT WEEK- we are told about three things:
1. Sting will be here to talk about his feelings after losing at Slammiversary- Good. I’m honestly a little surprised that we didn’t get that this week.
2. AJ will face Kurt in a BFG Series Qualifier- so with only four PPVs a year, TNA is STILL going to screw over everyone who bought the PPV by giving away a rematch on free TV two weeks later… but this time with something actually on the line? It’s like they don’t want people to order their PPVs.
3. We will have a tag team BFG Series Qualifier pitting Bad Influence Against Storm & Gunner- The whole reason the Destination X cash-in rule was created was because Hogan said that one person could not be the champion of two divisions at once… and yet Storm and Gunner are getting a chance to be in the BFG Series?

BALL-PEEN HAMMER OVER A LADDER MATCH: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy- 5.5/10
I really didn’t like that they spent all night hyping this up as a “ladder match” because it isn’t. A ladder match ends when you get the thing hanging above the ring. This match didn’t.
The way that Bully set up everything being in position for him to take dropkicking into the ladder into his crotch in the corner was one of the most obviously scripted-looking things I have ever seen. For some reason none of the Aces & Eights came out to make sure their leader didn’t get his skull caved in with a hammer. The match felt very repetitive and the lack of a finish really pissed me off.

Bully runs away from Jeff and goes backstage where Hogan sneaks up behind him to hit him with a hammer, but Brooke shows up and begs him not to. The show then ends with this crappy Hogan soap opera going on, while you can hear the angry crowd chanting “WE WANT WRESTLING!”

Another crappy show from TNA, but at least I will have heel Mickie to look forward to every week.

[badnewzxl]

1. You were DEAD ON about the opening segment and the replays of it; I was giggling to myself bc Hogan was just butchering the hell outta that segment.

2. I think the Robbie E squash was great; his promo before the match explained exactly why. Any guy who score 5pts in the BFG Series last year can be squashed by the company's most feared and seasoned bruiser. I liked this match bc it gave me what I love about both wrestlers.

3. I DVR'd this and the recording stopped right as Bully was scaling the ladder. I was pissed. Then I looked up the finish to the show...SOOOO happy the recording stopped! I really do skip through every segment in which Brooke Hogan is on the screen; in double time when it's her AND Hulk.

[Big Red Machine]

2. I think the Robbie E squash was great; his promo before the match explained exactly why. Any guy who score 5pts in the BFG Series last year can be squashed by the company's most feared and seasoned bruiser. I liked this match bc it gave me what I love about both wrestlers.

I enjoy that about Robbie, too but I can go without it for a week for the sake of the BFG Series not looking like any scrub can get in.

[badnewzxl]

2. I think the Robbie E squash was great; his promo before the match explained exactly why. Any guy who score 5pts in the BFG Series last year can be squashed by the company's most feared and seasoned bruiser. I liked this match bc it gave me what I love about both wrestlers.

I enjoy that about Robbie, too but I can go without it for a week for the sake of the BFG Series not looking like any scrub can get in.

I see what you mean....BUT (lol) I honestly thought "any scrub can get in" when he got in last year =)) . It would be like Disco Inferno in WW3; he has NO chance....

[cero2k]

i kinda see a contradiction here, you say you wouldn't allow Robbie because you want only the best, but then you wouldn't allow Aces and Eights even though they have former champs in their ranks and should be considered good enough for a shot at the tournament.

[badnewzxl]

i kinda see a contradiction here, you say you wouldn't allow Robbie because you want only the best, but then you wouldn't allow Aces and Eights even though they have former champs in their ranks and should be considered good enough for a shot at the tournament.

Anderson should DEF get in; none of the rest of them though....

[Big Red Machine]

2. I think the Robbie E squash was great; his promo before the match explained exactly why. Any guy who score 5pts in the BFG Series last year can be squashed by the company's most feared and seasoned bruiser. I liked this match bc it gave me what I love about both wrestlers.

I enjoy that about Robbie, too but I can go without it for a week for the sake of the BFG Series not looking like any scrub can get in.

I see what you mean....BUT (lol) I honestly thought "any scrub can get in" when he got in last year =)) . It would be like Disco Inferno in WW3; he has NO chance....

That was a 60 person circus. This is just twelve. There is a big difference.

[Big Red Machine]

i kinda see a contradiction here, you say you wouldn't allow Robbie because you want only the best, but then you wouldn't allow Aces and Eights even though they have former champs in their ranks and should be considered good enough for a shot at the tournament.

There is no contradiction. There are totally different reasons why neither man should be in. For Robbie it doesn't make sense because he is a jobber and having him in there makes both the BFG Series and the title look worse. Anderson certainly has the credentials to get in (though some wins leading up to it would be good), but he shouldn't be in because it doesn't make kayfabe sense for TNA to reward him for being part of a gang that has been viciously assaulting TNA employees.

[cero2k]

i kinda see a contradiction here, you say you wouldn't allow Robbie because you want only the best, but then you wouldn't allow Aces and Eights even though they have former champs in their ranks and should be considered good enough for a shot at the tournament.

There is no contradiction. There are totally different reasons why neither man should be in. For Robbie it doesn't make sense because he is a jobber and having him in there makes both the BFG Series and the title look worse. Anderson certainly has the credentials to get in (though some wins leading up to it would be good), but he shouldn't be in because it doesn't make kayfabe sense for TNA to reward him for being part of a gang that has been viciously assaulting TNA employees.

Ok, it may not necessarily be a contradiction, but if we won't allow Robbie because we want the best of the best, then you can't simply not give Anderson a shot in just because he is hanging out with the wrong crowd. It makes Hogan look biased.

This is a good example why sometimes, you shouldn't mix a stable warfare angle with a tournament angle like the BFG series. It never makes much sense to allow the invading stable into the tournaments.

[Big Red Machine]

i kinda see a contradiction here, you say you wouldn't allow Robbie because you want only the best, but then you wouldn't allow Aces and Eights even though they have former champs in their ranks and should be considered good enough for a shot at the tournament.

There is no contradiction. There are totally different reasons why neither man should be in. For Robbie it doesn't make sense because he is a jobber and having him in there makes both the BFG Series and the title look worse. Anderson certainly has the credentials to get in (though some wins leading up to it would be good), but he shouldn't be in because it doesn't make kayfabe sense for TNA to reward him for being part of a gang that has been viciously assaulting TNA employees.

Ok, it may not necessarily be a contradiction, but if we won't allow Robbie because we want the best of the best, then you can't simply not give Anderson a shot in just because he is hanging out with the wrong crowd. It makes Hogan look biased.

This is a good example why sometimes, you shouldn't mix a stable warfare angle with a tournament angle like the BFG series. It never makes much sense to allow the invading stable into the tournaments.

It's not stable warfare that's the issue. This is why you shouldn't mix a quasi-invasion angle with a major tournament (unless there is a good storyline reason for it like CZW letting the ROH guys enter into Best of the Best VI to prove that they can beat ROH at their own game). Of course it makes Hogan look biased, but it makes him look biased in an intelligent and believable way. You would expect Nigel to just randomly give a SCUM member a title shot. Not having Anderson in the BFG Series is the same thing.

[DevilWithin]

yall dudes need to seriously check those spoilers out...

[Big Red Machine]

yall dudes need to seriously check those spoilers out...

Don't tempt me, sir.

[cero2k]

yall dudes need to seriously check those spoilers out...

i did, i'm intrigued about

Hidden text.

who are the members of the new Main Event Mafia. Maybe Jarrett could be coming back! I think it has to be new people since (1) a lot of them now won't work for TNA, and (2) Sting already knows he doesn't have Angle's or Joe's back according to they're trying to do with this storyline

[cero2k]

Of course it makes Hogan look biased, but it makes him look biased in an intelligent and believable way. You would expect Nigel to just randomly give a SCUM member a title shot. Not having Anderson in the BFG Series is the same thing.

ok, i'll give you that. I think it's just the bigger problem of trying to run a competition based program along with an invasion, and on top of that you have a general manager that poorly delivers.

[DevilWithin]

yall dudes need to seriously check those spoilers out...

i did, i'm intrigued about

Hidden text.

who are the members of the new Main Event Mafia. Maybe Jarrett could be coming back! I think it has to be new people since (1) a lot of them now won't work for TNA, and (2) Sting already knows he doesn't have Angle's or Joe's back according to they're trying to do with this storyline

Yea I know it...

Hidden text.

Could be some other new dudes or somethin....Almost all the Originals are involved elsewhere or doing there own things.

[cero2k]

Yea I know it...

Hidden text.

Could be some other new dudes or somethin....Almost all the Originals are involved elsewhere or doing there own things.

Hidden text.

Exactly! Nash, Steiner, or Booker are not coming back. Taz is in Aces N Eights, and it doesn't make sense to bring in Angle or Joe because they're the guys that Sting is referring as not having backed him up during slammiversary.

[Big Bad Booty Daddy]

Utter crap from TNA this week!!


The Kurt Angle/Rampage Jackson promo would have been good if number 1 it didn't involve Rampage Jackson and number 2 Kurt Angle didn't look like he was gonna **** himself after Jackson stared him out, also don't like the "it's real it's damn real" quote


I like the heel character Mickey is turning into. Taelers reception was about as flat as Stacy keiblers chest, probs cause she's not been on tv for the last few months so people probs didn't recognise her!!!

[Big Red Machine]

also don't like the "it's real it's damn real" quote

Definitely agree with you on this. MMA guys can come in as wrestlers (like Lesnar did, as just being an ass-kicker), but someone doing an MMA gimmick will not work (see: Bobby Lashely in 2009).

[Big Red Machine]

Okay guys, despite the temptations, I've avoided these spoilers for a week. So... are they at least exciting?

[cero2k]

Okay guys, despite the temptations, I've avoided these spoilers for a week. So... are they at least exciting?

There are some storyline developments, not awesome, but intriguing