BRM Reviews TNA Bound For Glory 2013 (crap)

[Big Red Machine]

TNA Bound For Glory 2013 (10/20/2013)- San Diego, CA

ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Manik(c) vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin (w/Velvet Sky)- 6/10

Taz tried to sell Ultimate X like it was Hell in a Cell, and when I say that I mean he actually called it a “demonic structure” and said it would “pick apart your body” and “pick apart your career.” Sorry Taz, but Hell in a Cell has meaning as a big, feud ending match. Ultimate X hasn’t meant a damn thing in years, and especially not this year when we have already seen at least three ultimate X-matches this year, and none of them have meant anything other than just being “the X-Division gimmick match.”

The match was decent until the finish, which really pissed me off for two reasons. The first is that Sabin is now the X-Division Champion again… which means that they used the WORLD TITLE as nothing more than a vehicle to get Sabin angry so he could turn heel and go back to being an X-Division guy. Talk about completely wasting a World Title reign.
The second reason that the finish pissed me off was that they used a ladder. It’s ULTIMATE X! You don’t use ladders in Ultimate X! Everyone knows that! It is basically an unwritten rule. In fact, when the Dudleys tried to do it back when they were feuding with the X-Division, everyone reacted like they were murdering puppies!

BAD INFLUENCE & EY SEGMENT- Bad Influence cut a promo demanding to be put in the tag title match even though they lost the #1 contendership gauntlet match (for which TNA are total idiots, but I’ll get to that rant in a minute). EY comes out and says that Bad Influence should run because they have “created a monster.” Bad Influence beat EY down until Abyss returns to make the save. This would have been SOOO much better if we hadn’t randomly seen Abyss at various points over the past year and a half. If we hadn’t seen him since he disappeared back in January 2012, I would have popped huge for his return. Because they have brought him back randomly since then, though, my reaction upon seeing him was to shout “Hey Abyss! You forgot your TV Title belt!”

JB INTERVIEWS THE TAG CHAMPS- Gunner was passable, Storm was decent

Okay. Rant time.
Whoever made the call to put Bro-Mans in this spot instead of Bad Influence should be publicly flogged, then shot in the head, and then flogged again just for good measure! The purpose of the countdown show is to sell the PPV. When fans buy PPVs, they want to see two things: Good, compelling matches, and the resolutions (or at least advancements) of feuds. Which of these two teams do you think would put on a better match against Storm & Gunner? If you answered Bro-Mans, then you are a stupid person.
Not only would Bad Influence vs. Storm & Gunner be a better match, it would also be a more compelling match because Storm & Gunner beat Bro-Mans a few months ago in just a few minutes. If they Bro-Mans couldn’t beat Storm & Gunner when they were fresh, what chance to they have of beating them when they have already wrestled tonight?
Fans also want resolutions on their PPVs. Well Bro-Mans have been feuding with EY and Joseph Park, so it would make a lot more sense to wrap that feud up by having them take out Joseph and then get taken out by Abyss in the earlier segment! I can’t believe that they decided to put Bad Influence in that spot instead! Why would you use the excellent workers in the spot where all they have to do is take a few bumps and put guys who are passable in the ring at best in the spot where they have to wrestle antire match?!

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: James Storm & Gunner(c) vs. Bro-Mans (w/Mr. Olympia)- 5.5/10
Oh you have GOT TO BE F*CKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!
Gunner & Storm are fresh. Bro-Mans are not… and despite this, these two chumps who have only won ONE MATCH AS A TEAM SO FAR… beat Storm & Gunner pretty much completely cleanly! WHAT THE F*CK?! If you are going to have the heels win, at least have them cheat!

KURT ANGLE HALL OF FAME SPEECH- he says he has had many personal failings recently so he doesn’t think he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame… and he turns down the induction. Surprising… but I really don’t care.

DIXIE & EC III BACKSTAGE- apparently their family words are “The world needs us. We’re the Carters.” I have family words, too, which I reserve for TNA PPVs: “Hear me snore.”

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: ODB(c) vs. Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher- 2.5/10
So the big problem with this match was that everyone knew that nothing was going to happen until Lei’D Tapa came out, and as a result the crowd wasn’t really into it until she came out (and they actually popped for the ref bump because they knew it meant Tapa would come out soon). Tapa looked good in the limited stuff she did.
Wait… WHAT THE F*CK?! Tapa is just Gail’s new bodyguard? BOOOOO!!!!!! Being able to do a monster heel champ in a women’s division is such a rare thing? Why would you squander it?! (Not to mention that the company that whines and complains whenever they think WWE is copying them now has a heel women's champion with a big bodyguard from the Pacific Islands. Sound familiar?)

KURT ANGLE vs. BOBBY ROODE- 8.75/10
Easily TNA’s Match of the Year. Fantastic wrestling, a fantastic story, and great emotion. I loved every single thing they did until the damn finish. Kurt hits a Super Angle Slam but Roode is the guy who is on his feet first? COME ON!

BULLY RAY TALKS TO SOME MYSTERY GUYS BACKSTAGE- they were just teasing that some old Aces & Eights guys were coming back. My question is why the hell the cameraman never tried to film who these Aces & Eights guys were. Bubba clearly didn’t have a problem with the cameraman being there or else he would have kicked him out (though I’m not sure why Bully would allow this big surprise that he had backup to be revealed in the first place).

ETHAN CARTER III vs. NORV FURNAM-no rating.
Furnam, for those of you wondering, is PWG undercard wrestler “Pretty” Peter Avalon. This was perfect for what it was supposed to be, and normally I would call it a great segment, but it Bound For Glory really the right time to debut a new wrestler in an extended squash match?

STING vs. MAGNUS- 4.75/10
THAT’S IT?! THAT SHORT?! BOOO!
Taz and Tenay tried to play it off as if Magnus blew Sting off after the match, but he clearly shook hands with him, so I’m not sure what they’re going on about.

BULLY RAY PROMO- decent

NO DQ’S, NO COUNT-OUTS MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Bully Ray(c) (w/Brooke Tessmacher) vs. AJ Styles- 5.75/10
For me, at least, the story of this match failed on multiple levels. The story they seemed to be telling in the beginning, with Bully yelling “you’re scared of me” at AJ and just generally being a Bully and AJ needing that to fire him up really didn’t seem to fit here. It seemed like the type of story you would tell if Bully was facing someone like Amazing Red. With everything that it is on the line here (the title, and with it both AJ’s TNA future and his ability to “make Dixie pay”), AJ shouldn’t have needed Bully talking about his family to fire him up.
Then there was the whole Aces & Eights thing. On the go-home Impact, Knux said that next time Bully needed their help, they wouldn’t help him… so tonight, when Bully needs their help… they just come out and help him. Then, later, when Bully has AJ down and really doesn’t need their help but asks for it anyway… they don’t come out?
And what about Bully’s promo from earlier where he was implying that he had secret reinforcements from Aces & Eights’ past? If that wasn’t going to lead anywhere, what was the point of it?
The whole spot where Bully cut open the ring would have worked a lot better if that had actually been the finish at Slammiversary. We have only seen that spot once before, and it wasn’t the finish there, so why should we think it would be the finish here?
The other major problem I had with this match was Dixie. If she was willing to f*ck AJ over overtly by ordering Hebner not to count a pin for him, why not just replace Hebner with a ref who would listen? It doesn’t even have to be a ref! It could be Ethan Carter III or Brooke Tessmacher or Daniels or anyone who have a reason to want to screw AJ over. This whole set-up made Dixie, who is supposed

Sooo… another crappy PPV from TNA. Once again the Aces & Eights angle just mucks things up, Sting under-delivers on a PPV, and TNA makes completely idiotic booking choices. If not for Roode vs. Angle, this show would have easily been the worst major show of the year. With only four PPVs a year, each one HAS to deliver 100%. So far, absolutely none of them have. This was the show TNA spent so much time building towards… and it absolutely stunk.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. During the Ultimate X Match, Taz felt the need to remind us that “this is all legal, here.” What happened that Taz felt the need to remind us that everything was legal? Was it someone using a ladder as a weapon? Nope. In fact, multiple people used the ladder as a weapon and Taz didn’t comment on it at all other than to say something along the lines of “a ladder in an Ultimate X match? I LOVE IT!” The thing that made Taz feel the need to remind us that what we had just seen was legal was Austin Aries doing a flying double axe handle off the top rope... because I guess Taz thinks this is Bill Watts-era WCW.

2. Tenay says that he has been waiting for the AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray match “for months.” This is impossible because we have only known about the match for one single month.

[Nic/Phreak]

I really believe this is one of the few remaining nails in the coffin so to speak that will put TNA in the ground..I liked the concept of A n 8's...but its like they film their promo's at different times over a month or two and just stick them on "live TV" so when it does come to a PPv it just sucks more

also the writting staff and booking staff needs to pay more attention to what everyone is going to say and do or have the wrestlers write with eachother and make everything mesh better

as far as the Tenay and Taz...I really don't think they are watching the match unless the camera is on them, if its not on them then they are just heads down reading off paper...which ruins it and makes them feel and look and sound tarded

[cero2k]

Taz tried to sell Ultimate X like it was Hell in a Cell, and when I say that I mean he actually called it a “demonic structure” and said it would “pick apart your body” and “pick apart your career.” Sorry Taz, but Hell in a Cell has meaning as a big, feud ending match. Ultimate X hasn’t meant a damn thing in years, and especially not this year when we have already seen at least three ultimate X-matches this year, and none of them have meant anything other than just being “the X-Division gimmick match.

well, to be quite honest and fair, neither match can hold a candle for their former self. the HIAC is as crappy and lackluster as the cage match now is. SO Taz comparing it to the HIAC is somewhat accurate if you ask me.

[Big Red Machine]

Taz tried to sell Ultimate X like it was Hell in a Cell, and when I say that I mean he actually called it a “demonic structure” and said it would “pick apart your body” and “pick apart your career.” Sorry Taz, but Hell in a Cell has meaning as a big, feud ending match. Ultimate X hasn’t meant a damn thing in years, and especially not this year when we have already seen at least three ultimate X-matches this year, and none of them have meant anything other than just being “the X-Division gimmick match.

well, to be quite honest and fair, neither match can hold a candle for their former self. the HIAC is as crappy and lackluster as the cage match now is. SO Taz comparing it to the HIAC is somewhat accurate if you ask me.

HIAC might not mean quite as much as it used to, but it still always delivers (Punk vs. Ryback being the lone exception I can think of). Ultimate X almost never delivers anymore. When was the last time we had one that was truly great? MCMG vs. Beer Money? That's over three years ago. There have been TEN ultimate X matches since then.
Furthermore, the match used to mean something. When they would announce an Ultimate X match back in 2004-2006, it MEANT something. There was always an air of gravitas about it. Nowadays it is just am after thought that they just throw onto a show as an excuse to put the X-Division guys on there without having to actually think of an angle.

[cero2k]

well, to be quite honest and fair, neither match can hold a candle for their former self. the HIAC is as crappy and lackluster as the cage match now is. SO Taz comparing it to the HIAC is somewhat accurate if you ask me.

HIAC might not mean quite as much as it used to, but it still always delivers (Punk vs. Ryback being the lone exception I can think of). Ultimate X almost never delivers anymore. When was the last time we had one that was truly great? MCMG vs. Beer Money? That's over three years ago. There have been TEN ultimate X matches since then.
Furthermore, the match used to mean something. When they would announce an Ultimate X match back in 2004-2006, it MEANT something. There was always an air of gravitas about it. Nowadays it is just am after thought that they just throw onto a show as an excuse to put the X-Division guys on there without having to actually think of an angle.

i think this is were we're gonna disagree, i don't think a single HIAC match has delivered since Edge vs Taker except Taker vs Trips. We've had good matches inside the HIAC, but not good HIAC matches, if you see the difference. But i do agree that the Ultimate X has been pretty lackluster too, they've been decent, but nothing out of this world, last one i really enjoyed was the X-travaganza one.

[badnewzxl]

I guess I can't disagree with this reiew, lol. I esp agree about the Angle/Roode match. The ending left a bit to be desired, but the match itself was damn good! Aries v. Styles from early on in the BFG series is it's only competition for TNA MOTY....

[cero2k]

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: ODB(c) vs. Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher- 2.5/10
So the big problem with this match was that everyone knew that nothing was going to happen until Lei’D Tapa came out, and as a result the crowd wasn’t really into it until she came out (and they actually popped for the ref bump because they knew it meant Tapa would come out soon). Tapa looked good in the limited stuff she did.
Wait… WHAT THE F*CK?! Tapa is just Gail’s new bodyguard? BOOOOO!!!!!! Being able to do a monster heel champ in a women’s division is such a rare thing? Why would you squander it?! (Not to mention that the company that whines and complains whenever they think WWE is copying them now has a heel women's champion with a big bodyguard from the Pacific Islands. Sound familiar?)

you really need to rewatch this match. second best KOs match i've seen this year. easily a 6/10, even the dirty finish was great, freaking tessmacher was amazing, DAT POUNCE!

[Big Red Machine]

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: ODB(c) vs. Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher- 2.5/10
So the big problem with this match was that everyone knew that nothing was going to happen until Lei’D Tapa came out, and as a result the crowd wasn’t really into it until she came out (and they actually popped for the ref bump because they knew it meant Tapa would come out soon). Tapa looked good in the limited stuff she did.
Wait… WHAT THE F*CK?! Tapa is just Gail’s new bodyguard? BOOOOO!!!!!! Being able to do a monster heel champ in a women’s division is such a rare thing? Why would you squander it?! (Not to mention that the company that whines and complains whenever they think WWE is copying them now has a heel women's champion with a big bodyguard from the Pacific Islands. Sound familiar?)

you really need to rewatch this match. second best KOs match i've seen this year. easily a 6/10, even the dirty finish was great, freaking tessmacher was amazing, DAT POUNCE!

Maybe I'll give it a rewatch. I do love me a good pounce (ALPHA MALE 4 LIFE!)