BRM Reviews the 2/2/2016 Impact (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

VIDEO OF EC III FROM EARLIER TODAY- pointless
Ethan asked the cameraman if he wanted an interview, then handed the cameraman a piece of paper and told him to “be here. Four o’clock.” So basically, they showed us a clip of EC III from earlier today in order to inform us that later on in the show we would be seeing another video of EC III from earlier today that actually has something happen in it. So what was the point of this segment in the first place?
I also REALLY don’t like these promos and segment with (supposedly) dramatic background music. It just doesn’t feel like a wrestling show (Lucha Underground can get away with it because Lucha Underground is not a wrestling show: it’s a TV show about a bunch of wrestlers and what is going on in their world).

MATT HARDY, REBY SKY, & TYRUS SEGMENT-
No baby tonight. I guess they finally decided to hire a real babysitter (and in other sad news, it took me three tries to type “babysitter” [and two tries on that one] because I keep instinctively typing “babyface).
Matt and especially Reby cut good promos. Then EY and Bram showed up because EY wants the world title and apparently Bram has become his mute sidekick. Then Kurt Angle showed up and claimed that Matt has been “degrading” the world title “ever since you won it.” That seems horribly unfair to me. He’s only had one chance to defend it and he was totally willing to do so. It’s not Matt’s fault that EY and Bram attacked Jeff.
Kurt says he just asked a TNA official for a world title match and this felt a bit out of nowhere to me. Then I checked my notes and apparently last week’s show ended with Matt laying Kurt out. A recap of the big ending to last week’s show (everything from EY and Bram attacking Jeff to Kurt making the save to Matt attacking Kurt) would have been a much more effective way to start the show. Matt accuses Kurt of politicking, and Kurt doesn’t even dispute this charge, which is silly because he is still owed a rematch from when he lost the title to EC III (he actually got one the week after, but it quickly ended in a DQ victory for Kurt), plus he has won all but one of his matches since then (including a big match against Galloway a few weeks ago and a big match against EY and Bound For Glory) and the match he didn’t win he didn’t take the pinfall in, either (the tag title match at One Night Only: Live).
EY and Matt are apparently friends again because they were willing to stand with him against Kurt. Beer Money came out to back Kurt up. A brawl started but it was still four-on-three in favor of the heels… or at least it would have been if Tyrus hadn’t inexplicably disappeared. We later saw him outside on the ring (on the opposite side from where Beer Money came from) pulling Matt out of the ring to save him from an Ankle Lock.
Then Crazzy Steve & Abyss randomly decided to march down to ringside… and “march” is the only word for it because their movements were all stiff and they were going at almost a regular canter. It was very weird. This seemed to happen for the sole purpose of letting The Wolves run in and take them out (from behind, before they had even laid a hand on anyone). Then Bobby Roode grabbed a mic and apparently he has booking power because he booked Beer Money & The Wolves vs. Crazzy Steve, Crazzy Abyss, Crazzy EY, and Semi-Crazzy Bram in a hardcore match. The only reason for the involvement of the tag title feud here seemed to be so they could have a match with more guys in it.

DREW GALLOWAY & TYRUS BACKSTAGE- good.

BOBBY LASHLEY vs. AIDEN O’SHEA- 2.5/10
Raquel (the purpled haired woman from that segment a week or two ago) came out to watch. The match was short. Lashley won. Raquel once again told Lashley that she can bring him pain or pleasure.

MARIA KANELLIS & GAIL KIM SEGMENT-
Maria came out and cut a good promo. She said she is the first lady of pro wrestling and that the Knockouts Division is broken. Gail Kim was unhappy about this. Maria’s delivery in everything was great. Gail, on the other hand, came off as overly dramatic and had some horrible lines. Both the “it’s about being strong, powerful women” line and the “go ahead and put your boots on” line made me cringe. Latter was probably more an issue of the stuff around it feeling scripted so it felt scripted too, where it probably would have been fine in isolation (and the same goes for Gail’s delivery of the line). With the former, it’s more the word “powerful” that annoys me, and it does so for several reasons:
1. Claiming that something is about “being strong, powerful women” makes it sound like a marketing campaign, and thus phony,
2. Shouldn’t it be about being a wrestler and winning championships?
3. “Powerful?” You’re a pro wrestler! I’m sorry to say it, but there is no power in that. Steph or Dixie can get away with this line because they are promoters. They have actual power over people. Gail can’t do sh*t.
Now that line where she challenged- nay DARED- Maria to “fix the ‘problem?’” THAT was a great line. That’s the fighting babyface champion talking!
Maria, being a good heel, backed down.

BEER MONEY & THE WOLVES BACKSTAGE- not bad, per se, but I didn’t like it.
This was a segment building to a match that didn’t need to be built to in this was. All they needed to do was have Josh and Pope keep bringing the potential match up on commentary during the hardcore match. This just felt like the annoying “can they get along?” bickering we’ve seen way too much of in TNA over the years (and also in WWE this past year).
I also thought they kept the camera on them WAY too long during the “we’re friends again” part.

Also, apparently the match is not just any hardcore match but a “Hardcore War” where everyone gets to bring a weapon of their own choice. So do you get DQed for using someone else’s weapon? What’s to stop someone from brining two or three weapons? Or getting a chair from ringside to use as a weapon?
Also, it’s using a War Games-style entry system. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that this is a silly stipulation.

HARDCORE WAR: Eric Young, Bram, Abyss, & Crazzy Steve vs. Beer Money & The Wolves- 6/10
Davey Richards brought a chair, which I found weird. If Davey has anything close to a signature weapon, it’d be that steel chain he sometimes wraps around his boot to do the Kawada Kicks. Crazzy Steve brought a baseball bat with a chain hanging off of it. Bram brought a turnbuckle.
James Storm brought a keg of Beer which was heavy enough that he had to drag it across the stage. Instead of running down the ramp to help Davey, who was being beaten down 2-on-1, Storm just stood at the top of the ramp. Luckily for the babyface team, Bram was dumb enough to charge at him instead of just continuing to double-team Davey or waiting until Storm was vulnerable when he tried to slide into the ring to attack. They used a chair and the keg to do that stupid “one weapon into another weapon nut shot” that actually wouldn’t work very well based on the laws of physics.
EY brought a Kendo Stick. Eddie Edwards came out during a commercial. Abyss came out with Janice. Also Rosemary, who herself came out with The Wolves’ tag title belts. Bobby Roode brought a hockey stick.
Crazzy Steve wound up pinning Davey after using the mist to blind him and Decay stood tall in the end. Josh Matthews declared that “Suicide Squad has come early.” In what possible way are Decay like the Suicide Squad?

KURT & DREW BACKSTAGE- Drew says he will use his briefcase to challenge Kurt if Kurt beats Matt.

DREW GALLOWAY vs. TYRUS- 5.75/10
They were having a very enjoyable match and Drew as in the middle of a great comeback when the lights went out so that Maria could show up on the ramp. When they came back on, Mike Bennett was in the ring, holding Drew’s Feast or Fired briefcase, and he knocked Drew out with it, causing a DQ. This was stupid. Which douchebag in the production truck thought it was a good idea to shut the lights off in the middle of a match?! That asshole should be fired.
Did the lights REALLY need to go off for this? Why can’t people just do a normal run-in anymore?

KURT ANGLE & BOBBY LASHLEY BACKSTAGE- sets up another Angle vs. Lashley match, and like the earlier segment with Drew, put over the idea that this match will be for the TNA World Heavyweight Title. A nice bit of misdirection.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Tigre Uno(c) vs. Shane Helms-
Turns out that it’s a SWERVE! Helms says that he never said that Tigre Uno would be defending the belt against him. Instead we’re getting…

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Tigre Uno(c) vs. Trevor Lee (w/Gregory Shane Helms)- 4/10
Trevor Lee got NO REACTION WHATSOEVER. Maybe it’s just me, but I think that’s probably due to the fact that THEY HAVE SPENT NO TIME ON HIM WHATSOEVER! This is literally the first time he has been mentioned on Impact (outside of the GFW Invasion, which feels like it was eons ago). Perhaps if they had spent some time building Trevor Lee up as a challenger instead of wasting time giving random X-Division Title shots to losers like Zema Ion and Mandrews and constantly repeating this same angle with Gregory Shane Helms, people would actually care about Trevor Lee and this match? It’s just another instance of TNA choosing to forgo a basic but effective wrestling build in favor of a random swerve.
The match was too short and very anti-climactic. They had the first few minutes of what should have been a great match, but then Lee just picked up for a move and Josh said “he could be going for that Fisherman’s Buster of his” and Lee hit the Fisherman’s buster and won. We didn’t even get to see any of Lee’s cool spots. This just felt like a big waste.

EC III INTERVIEW- bad
First of all, let me say that all of those teases with Ethan sitting in this room and either saying cryptic things to someone on his phone or looking out the window as if facing some tough decision while the (not very) tense background music played were dumb. Just be a f*cking wrestling show and have the announcers plug the interview!
Similarly, I hated the background music here and changing camera angles. Not only did it not feel like something on a wrestling show, but between Ethan’s promo and the music, I don’t think it got the message across in the right way. It almost felt silly because they were trying too hard. Ethan came a cross like a guy cutting a promo on a season-long reality show, not a pro wrestler.

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Matt Hardy(c) (w/Reby Sky & Tyrus) vs. Kurt Angle- 6.5/10
In the middle of the KURT ANGLE RETIREMENT TOUR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MAIN EVENT, we took some time have Tyrus randomly walk over to Pope and bully him. There was no reason for this whatsoever, and whatever they want to start with this, I’m certain it could have waited until Matt’s next match.
I stated last week why I didn’t think this match was a good idea, and at least in terms of match quality, I was certainly right. They started hitting finishers about five minutes in, and after that point it was all finishers, finishers teases, and approximately 63 German Suplexes.
GRRRRR! Now we’ve got clips from the future again to preview next week’s show.

An episode of Impact that was both bad and disappointing.

[cero2k]

VIDEO OF EC III FROM EARLIER TODAY- pointless
Ethan asked the cameraman if he wanted an interview, then handed the cameraman a piece of paper and told him to “be here. Four o’clock.” So basically, they showed us a clip of EC III from earlier today in order to inform us that later on in the show we would be seeing another video of EC III from earlier today that actually has something happen in it. So what was the point of this segment in the first place?
I liked that they did this segment, because it hypes that we're getting ECIII's reaction and I liked that ECIII, even as a babyface, is important enough that the camera needs to respect his schedule


Then Crazzy Steve & Abyss randomly decided to march down to ringside… and “march” is the only word for it because their movements were all stiff and they were going at almost a regular canter. It was very weird. This seemed to happen for the sole purpose of letting The Wolves run in and take them out (from behind, before they had even laid a hand on anyone). Then Bobby Roode grabbed a mic and apparently he has booking power because he booked Beer Money & The Wolves vs. Crazzy Steve, Crazzy Abyss, Crazzy EY, and Semi-Crazzy Bram in a hardcore match. The only reason for the involvement of the tag title feud here seemed to be so they could have a match with more guys in it.
You're building towards Lockdown, gotta start making good/bad teams. I hate that the Decay would team with anyone, but at least Young and Bram are supposed to be deranged too.


MARIA KANELLIS & GAIL KIM SEGMENT-
Maria came out and cut a good promo. She said she is the first lady of pro wrestling and that the Knockouts Division is broken. Gail Kim was unhappy about this. Maria’s delivery in everything was great. Gail, on the other hand, came off as overly dramatic and had some horrible lines. Both the “it’s about being strong, powerful women” line and the “go ahead and put your boots on” line made me cringe. Latter was probably more an issue of the stuff around it feeling scripted so it felt scripted too, where it probably would have been fine in isolation (and the same goes for Gail’s delivery of the line).
my only problem with this wasn't that gail felt scripted, but just how much bullshit her words had. Both with TNA and WWE, i hate it when they try to sell you 'strong, intelligent' women, when you watch their matches and angles, and they're all moronic

BEER MONEY & THE WOLVES BACKSTAGE- not bad, per se, but I didn’t like it.
This was a segment building to a match that didn’t need to be built to in this was. All they needed to do was have Josh and Pope keep bringing the potential match up on commentary during the hardcore match. This just felt like the annoying “can they get along?” bickering we’ve seen way too much of in TNA over the years (and also in WWE this past year).
I also thought they kept the camera on them WAY too long during the “we’re friends again” part.
I didn't mind, I think this was a good tease on a future Beer Money vs Wolves feud, I just hope they don't keep doing this every week.

Also, apparently the match is not just any hardcore match but a “Hardcore War” where everyone gets to bring a weapon of their own choice. So do you get DQed for using someone else’s weapon? What’s to stop someone from brining two or three weapons? Or getting a chair from ringside to use as a weapon? Also, it’s using a War Games-style entry system. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that this is a silly stipulation.
Roode did mention Hardcore War at first. I like this gimmick, but it feels too similar to Lethal Lockdown, ad if you're building towards it, you probably don't want something so similar.


DREW GALLOWAY vs. TYRUS- 5.75/10
They were having a very enjoyable match and Drew as in the middle of a great comeback when the lights went out so that Maria could show up on the ramp. When they came back on, Mike Bennett was in the ring, holding Drew’s Feast or Fired briefcase, and he knocked Drew out with it, causing a DQ. This was stupid. Which douchebag in the production truck thought it was a good idea to shut the lights off in the middle of a match?! That asshole should be fired.
Did the lights REALLY need to go off for this? Why can’t people just do a normal run-in anymore?
c'mon, it was obviously a miracle the lights went off at that moment. I found funny the idea that every Bennett interference should start with a Maria promo.

KURT ANGLE & BOBBY LASHLEY BACKSTAGE- sets up another Angle vs. Lashley match, and like the earlier segment with Drew, put over the idea that this match will be for the TNA World Heavyweight Title. A nice bit of misdirection.
Match was already set up, it was just the hint of Lashely going heel. Agree with the rest you said.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Tigre Uno(c) vs. Shane Helms-
Turns out that it’s a SWERVE! Helms says that he never said that Tigre Uno would be defending the belt against him. Instead we’re getting…

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Tigre Uno(c) vs. Trevor Lee (w/Gregory Shane Helms)- 4/10
Trevor Lee got NO REACTION WHATSOEVER. Maybe it’s just me, but I think that’s probably due to the fact that THEY HAVE SPENT NO TIME ON HIM WHATSOEVER! This is literally the first time he has been mentioned on Impact (outside of the GFW Invasion, which feels like it was eons ago). Perhaps if they had spent some time building Trevor Lee up as a challenger instead of wasting time giving random X-Division Title shots to losers like Zema Ion and Mandrews and constantly repeating this same angle with Gregory Shane Helms, people would actually care about Trevor Lee and this match? It’s just another instance of TNA choosing to forgo a basic but effective wrestling build in favor of a random swerve.
I don't disagree, they went for the swerve instead of building Lee out. I do like that Helms is a manager and not a wrestler, i was worried that he would be wrestling, and it's a bit of payback from all the way back to BFG.

[Big Red Machine]

VIDEO OF EC III FROM EARLIER TODAY- pointless
Ethan asked the cameraman if he wanted an interview, then handed the cameraman a piece of paper and told him to “be here. Four o’clock.” So basically, they showed us a clip of EC III from earlier today in order to inform us that later on in the show we would be seeing another video of EC III from earlier today that actually has something happen in it. So what was the point of this segment in the first place?
I liked that they did this segment, because it hypes that we're getting ECIII's reaction and I liked that ECIII, even as a babyface, is important enough that the camera needs to respect his schedule
I thought it would have been a lot better to just have the announcers hype it throughout the show. I've never liked this sort of "we do this on my time" segment. He's a company employee. Logically, this sort of thing should be worked out beforehand, even if it is in a very informal way... which is exactly what this was. This a lame, overly dramatic version of a conversation that was essentially "hey Ethan? Can we get that interview now?" (which was advertised last week, so it's not like neither side knew this was coming), and then Ethan responding, "I don't want to do it now. How about four o'clock?" and the cameraman saying "sure. Sounds great."


Then Crazzy Steve & Abyss randomly decided to march down to ringside… and “march” is the only word for it because their movements were all stiff and they were going at almost a regular canter. It was very weird. This seemed to happen for the sole purpose of letting The Wolves run in and take them out (from behind, before they had even laid a hand on anyone). Then Bobby Roode grabbed a mic and apparently he has booking power because he booked Beer Money & The Wolves vs. Crazzy Steve, Crazzy Abyss, Crazzy EY, and Semi-Crazzy Bram in a hardcore match. The only reason for the involvement of the tag title feud here seemed to be so they could have a match with more guys in it.
You're building towards Lockdown, gotta start making good/bad teams. I hate that the Decay would team with anyone, but at least Young and Bram are supposed to be deranged too.
1. A good booker would have been planting the seeds for his/her Lethal Lockdown match months ago. Or at the very least, from the beginning of these tapings. Lethal Lockdown (and the Survivor Series elimination matches, too) is supposed to MEAN SOMETHING. Lethal Lockdown in particular should always be the payoff to something built for months. Look at the 2013 match: that was the Aces & Eights taking on a bunch of guys who they had put on the shelf over the past five months. (It's also possible to do it as a beginning, but in order to make the match itself feel important at the time, you need the match itself to also be an end to something[think Lethal Lockdown 2014, where it both ended the MVP vs. Dixie feud but also started the Dixie vs. Bully feud]). Holy crap I just put over both the 2013 and 2014 Lethal Lockdown matches in the same paragraph.
What TNA did here- having two completely unrelated feuds do run-ins in a third feud- is 100% the wrong way to go about it. This is the sort of "just cram a bunch of feuds together" booking that has killed Survivor Series.
It would have made a lot more sense to set something up around Matt Hardy and the world title. You've already got Matt and Tyrus. You could easily stick Helms and Lee in there. Everyone knows that Hardy and Helms are good friends, so all you need to do is have Tigre Uno be around to regain the X-Division Title but Tyrus comes out and interferes (on Matt's orders). So that's your heel team.
Now you need your babyfaces. We've already gotten Tigre Uno involved, so that's one. Drew is kind of involved due to his segment with Tyrus, plus a stable like Matt's (especially if you add the X-Division Champion in, too) is just like the BDC, which is exactly what Drew came to TNA to oppose in the first place, so he makes sense. That's two.
I'd do some sort of angle to get Spud involved. Maybe have him win an X-Division Title shot on the last show in the states, then when you go to the UK, you have "Big Money Matt" try to buy him off and get him to be his and Reby's (and the baby's) lackey instead of going after the X-Division Title. Spud would obviously say no, so you have Tyrus and Helms and Matt screw him out of the title (Tigre Uno could make the save there, so you could also build to something like Helms & Lee vs. Spud & Tigre Uno a bit down the line).
The babyfaces are still one short, so Spud says he has an idea. At Lethal Lockdown, we reveal the fourth member of the babyface's team as... EC III.
(Or you could do it where Spud tells us that the guy he wanted to recruit wouldn't listen to him, so the babyfaces need to find a replacement the day of and you have Anderson as your mystery guy... except that Bennett attacks Drew on his way down to the ring and takes him out, so Ethan comes out in the end as your double surprise swerve mystery guy).

My point is that the way they did it doesn't feel interconnected. Don't get me wrong: I like the idea of the Wolves and Beer Money on the same team at Lockdown with a tag title shot looming over the Wolves' heads like the Sword of Damocles. I just wish there was a better way to do it. Maybe you actually schedule the Wolves vs. Beer Money tag title shot but then Decay injures Beer Money or something like that.

Also, at this point, the easiest and most logical place to stick Lethal Lockdown is in the Knockouts Division. You've already got a stable of four heels with three babyfaces fighting against them. All you need is to have them beat up a fourth babyface.


MARIA KANELLIS & GAIL KIM SEGMENT-
Maria came out and cut a good promo. She said she is the first lady of pro wrestling and that the Knockouts Division is broken. Gail Kim was unhappy about this. Maria’s delivery in everything was great. Gail, on the other hand, came off as overly dramatic and had some horrible lines. Both the “it’s about being strong, powerful women” line and the “go ahead and put your boots on” line made me cringe. Latter was probably more an issue of the stuff around it feeling scripted so it felt scripted too, where it probably would have been fine in isolation (and the same goes for Gail’s delivery of the line).
my only problem with this wasn't that gail felt scripted, but just how much bullshit her words had. Both with TNA and WWE, i hate it when they try to sell you 'strong, intelligent' women, when you watch their matches and angles, and they're all moronic
I wouldn't go so far as to say they're moronic, but they certainly don't make you think anyone is powerful or smart. The problem is that it's just pure PR and it sounds like it. It's amazing how no one has realized that the places that get their women over the best are the ones where they focus on the wrestling and do their best to avoid stupid, BS catchphrases (NXT, CHIKARA, ACW).