BRM Reviews the 6/27/2013 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT-
Sting cuts a promo introducing Kurt as a member of the Main Event mafia, which was entirely pointless because we just saw that on the voice-over going into the show.Kurt tells us that they will reveal another member of the new MEM tonight, and that they want to eliminate Aces & Eights and make sure that Bully loses the title. Taz and Tenay put this whole thing over like these two guys and whoever their third guy is are going be able to take out Aces & Eight… even though the combined efforts of Sting, Angle, James Storm, EY, Samoa Joe, & Magnus (with political support from Hulk Hogan) have not been able to do so.

ACES & EIGHTS GRAB SABIN BACKSTAGE- Doc grabs Sabin and brings him into an empty shipping crate nearby where he, Bully, and Anderson have been hiding. Doc and Anderson holds Sabin down while Bully tells him that he had better not cash in the X-Division Title for a World Heavyweight Title match. Bully’s little promo here would have been good if he hadn’t kept reminding Sabin about his injured knees. Is Bully really scared of someone with such vulnerable knees?

VIDEO PACKAGE FOR ADAM O’REIHNER- he didn’t stand out in any way.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Chris Sabin(c) vs. Kenny King vs. Suicide- 4.5/10
So the same two guys who lost in the last X-Division Title match are getting title matches without having earned them in any way, thus going against the stupid new rules TNA set for the X-Division less than three months ago.
The match was eh, and the finish just seemed awkward, mostly because referee decided to slide out of the ring between the two and three counts.

And now it just got weirder. Hogan comes out with an injured TJ Perkins and says that TJP has always been Suicide… meaning that we have no idea who this guy is who just won the X-Division Title. Sh*t just got interesting.
And on a side note, does this mean that they are retroactively giving TJP credit for Kaz and Daniels X-Division Title reigns under the mask?

VIDEO PACKAGE FOR RYAN HOWE- see… now this guy stands out!

GUT CHECK MATCH: Ryan Howe vs. Adam O’Reihner- 3.5/10

BULLY RAY & TJP BACKSTAGE- Dull.
Bully asks TJ if Kurt and Sting had him fake a knee injury and give someone else his gear so that someone else could get a shot at the X-Division Title (and thus the shot at the World Heavyweight Title).

TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TITLE MATCH: Mickie James(c) vs. Velvet Sky- 2/10
Mickie, in her outstanding insincere heel way, gave Velvet one last chance to walk away from this match because she didn’t want to see Mickie get hurt... but during this she turned and started talking to the hardcam rather than to Velvet, which made the whole thing look REALLY weird.
This match was pretty bad, and the reason for that is simple: Velvet Sky seemed like she was going about two steps slower that Mickie wanted to be going, and as a result and lot of it looked very fake (especially the headscissors spots). After the match, Velvet cut a promo where she was basically crying because she lost a wrestling match. This just made Velvet look pathetic. She should be pained because of her knee, but to have her CRY just undermines all of the work you have done to try to make her a credible contender.

ROODE, STING, & ANGLE BACKSTAGE- Angle and Sting and backstage and Roode walks between them. Sting and Angle look at Roode as he walks away, look at each other, and smile. Either they are considering Bobby Roode as a potential member of the Main Event Mafia, or they both really like his ass.

HOGAN & A REF BACKSTAGE- Hogan asks if the ref noticed anything different about Suicide while he was in the ring. The ref says he didn’t. Hogan then task the referee with combing the building to find the impost Suicide and tell him that he has until the end of the night to unmask or Hogan will strip him of the title.
First of all, if there is an unknown person running around (with one of the titles, no less) shouldn’t SECURITY be trying to find him? Secondly, if the guy unmasks, will Hogan not punish him for jumping someone backstage, sneaking into a match and stealing a title?

BFG SERIES MATCH: Bobby Roode vs. Magnus- 5.5/10

ACES & EIGHTS ASK ROBBIE, JESSIE, & CHAVO IF THEY ARE SUICIDE- What is the point of this? We’ll find out at the end of the show, anyway. Just be f*cking patient, dude!

JAMES STORM & GUNNER PROMO- so almost a month after they win the belts, the new champions finally get a chance to talk about winning the belts, and not only do they not don’t even get their entrance shown, but we only got to see them holding the belts for about four seconds at the very end of the segment. Way to make those belts look important, there, TNA.
Storm says that it is okay not to like your tag partner, but he is then interrupted by Robbie E., Jessie Godderz, and Tara.
Robbie saying that “this train has already sailed down the road” made me crack up. He also says that he and Jessie are now collectively known as “Bro-mance,” which is genius. Wait… no. Apparently is it the “Bro-Mans” which is a dumb name. So Kaz and Daniels might have gotten a win over the tag champions, but instead, their first feud will be with the Comedy Job Squad.

BFG SERIES MATCH: Samoa Joe vs. Mr. Anderson- 4/10
Nowhere near close to good enough for a main event. They shined Joe, and then had almost no heat whatsoever before the finish. Aces & Eights show up to distract Joe but Angle and Sting come out and chase them away and Joe gets the win with the choke. After the match, we learn that Joe is a member of the new MEM. So when Sting said he was unhappy because no one had his back, the first two people he goes to start a stable of people to watch his back… are two of the people who didn’t watch his back in the first place. Now do you see why I can’t stand TNA?

STING, ANGLE, & JOE BACKSTAGE- entirely unnecessary. Sting & Angle give Joe a suit, then Joe tells them he is ready to “go to war to find out of runs this place.” You’ve been feuding with Aces & Eights for the past eight months already, Joe!

WHO IS THE IMPOSTER SUICIDE?- Once Suicide comes out and is about to speak, Hogan, who had been so insistent on finding out who the imposter is… interrupts him. Suicide refuses to reveal his identity and then Bully Ray shows up and says that Suicide owes his X-Division Title to Bully scaring Sabin. Hogan once again demands that Suicide take his mask off. Instead Suicide starts to speak… and based on the Ole Anderson-esque deep voice, and I am assuming that the Suicide imposter is Ric Flair. Wait. Not. It turns out to be Austin Aries (who was my first guess… because there are only so many main-event level heels who are small enough to be Suicide). To be honest, I really don’t care because we all know that Aries won’t win.

Overall, a bad episode of Impact. They had a nice swerve, but they blew it all by the end of the show and I just didn’t care. I also was very unhappy that the two title matches were two of the first three matches. I get why they did it with the X-Division Title, but the Knockout’s title should have been the main event tonight (and been given time). It really felt like they were getting those pesky title matches out of the way so they could get to the BFG Series matches. TNA really needs to step it up.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay “the Main Event Mafia: Sting and Kurt Angle. Is this the group that finally is the answer for Aces & Eights?”
Seeing as how Sting and Angle were just two of the eight guys who have been fighting Aces & Eights and haven’t been able to eliminate them so far… I’m going to say no.

2. Tenay “I would have to label that (his win over Bobby Roode) the biggest win in the career of Magnus!”
Aside from the extremely awkward phrasing (does Tenay not know how to use the possessive?”), is he really saying that beating Bobby Roode in a BFG Series match is a bigger win than any of his various title victories?

[cero2k]

First of all, if there is an unknown person running around (with one of the titles, no less) shouldn’t SECURITY be trying to find him? Secondly, if the guy unmasks, will Hogan not punish him for jumping someone backstage, sneaking into a match and stealing a title?

nope, he won the title fair and square, imagine if companies got crazy about masked men winning titles, what would AAA and CMLL do? didn't he get punished by telling him to unmask or lose the title? and if you're getting punished for jumping someone in the back then we may as call this wimpy wrestling instead of impact wrestling.

ACES & EIGHTS ASK ROBBIE, JESSIE, & CHAVO IF THEY ARE SUICIDE- What is the point of this? We’ll find out at the end of the show, anyway. Just be f*cking patient, dude!

he doesn't know that, kayfabe!

WHO IS THE IMPOSTER SUICIDE?- Once Suicide comes out and is about to speak, Hogan, who had been so insistent on finding out who the imposter is… interrupts him. Suicide refuses to reveal his identity and then Bully Ray shows up and says that Suicide owes his X-Division Title to Bully scaring Sabin. Hogan once again demands that Suicide take his mask off. Instead Suicide starts to speak… and based on the Ole Anderson-esque deep voice, and I am assuming that the Suicide imposter is Ric Flair. Wait. Not. It turns out to be Austin Aries (who was my first guess… because there are only so many main-event level heels who are small enough to be Suicide). To be honest, I really don’t care because we all know that Aries won’t win.

you've lost your innocence BRM, of course he's not likely to win it, same way Punk wasn't gonna break the streak, yet everyone got into it and fell exited. This was a great move and a great execution, I've never been high on the MEM and while I usually like the BFG series matches, i tend to tune out of the stories going around. This just sucked me in.

[Big Red Machine]

First of all, if there is an unknown person running around (with one of the titles, no less) shouldn’t SECURITY be trying to find him? Secondly, if the guy unmasks, will Hogan not punish him for jumping someone backstage, sneaking into a match and stealing a title?

nope, he won the title fair and square, imagine if companies got crazy about masked men winning titles, what would AAA and CMLL do? didn't he get punished by telling him to unmask or lose the title? and if you're getting punished for jumping someone in the back then we may as call this wimpy wrestling instead of impact wrestling.

What I mean is that in this case we have reason to suspect that this person might not work for the company. It's not the fact that he is wearing a mask... it's the fact that he assaulted a masked man and took his identity, and that we must therefore assume nefarious motives.
I'm not disputing that Aries won the match fair and square. I absolutely hate it when someone beats someone else up and is then allowed to take their spot in a match (like Edge at No Way Out 2009), and I think that this was a particularly brilliant way of doing it. What I am saying is that Hogan seems to want to punish this guy for the wrong reason. If Hogan threatens to punish the guy for not unmasking, then the thing bothering Hogan is that the imposter's identity is a mystery, rather than that he attacked TJP slipped himself into a match and made off with a title out of a title shot he didn't earn

ACES & EIGHTS ASK ROBBIE, JESSIE, & CHAVO IF THEY ARE SUICIDE- What is the point of this? We’ll find out at the end of the show, anyway. Just be f*cking patient, dude!

he doesn't know that, kayfabe!

Bully's concern is that he doesn't know who has just won the X-Division Title (and thus the possibility of challenging him for the TNA World Heavyweight Title. Based on Hogan's ultimatum, one of two things will happen at the end of the show: Either the imposter will reveal himself (and Bully will learn who he might be facing at Destination X), or Hogan will strip the imposter of the belt (at which point his identity won't matter because he will no longer have the mans to challenge Bully for the title at Destination X).

WHO IS THE IMPOSTER SUICIDE?- Once Suicide comes out and is about to speak, Hogan, who had been so insistent on finding out who the imposter is… interrupts him. Suicide refuses to reveal his identity and then Bully Ray shows up and says that Suicide owes his X-Division Title to Bully scaring Sabin. Hogan once again demands that Suicide take his mask off. Instead Suicide starts to speak… and based on the Ole Anderson-esque deep voice, and I am assuming that the Suicide imposter is Ric Flair. Wait. Not. It turns out to be Austin Aries (who was my first guess… because there are only so many main-event level heels who are small enough to be Suicide). To be honest, I really don’t care because we all know that Aries won’t win.

you've lost your innocence BRM, of course he's not likely to win it, same way Punk wasn't gonna break the streak, yet everyone got into it and fell exited. This was a great move and a great execution, I've never been high on the MEM and while I usually like the BFG series matches, i tend to tune out of the stories going around. This just sucked me in.

People think it is 100% unlikely for someone to break The Streak. Here, if Aries wins, it screws up the entire BFG Series. Aries will now be the champion and thus not in the BFG Series, but he won't have had all of his matches yet, so the people that haven't faced him will be left with no opponent to face. They can't just put someone new in the BFG Series either, as then people who already wrestled Aries will wrestle an extra match.

[cero2k]

What I mean is that in this case we have reason to suspect that this person might not work for the company. It's not the fact that he is wearing a mask... it's the fact that he assaulted a masked man and took his identity, and that we must therefore assume nefarious motives.

after dealing with Aces and 8s they really shouldn't go all crazy about a guy that won a title after he took someone else's identity. I mean, they need to deal with it by finding out who it is, but to go all punishment on him just seems like overreaction

Bully's concern is that he doesn't know who has just won the X-Division Title (and thus the possibility of challenging him for the TNA World Heavyweight Title. Based on Hogan's ultimatum, one of two things will happen at the end of the show: Either the imposter will reveal himself (and Bully will learn who he might be facing at Destination X), or Hogan will strip the imposter of the belt (at which point his identity won't matter because he will no longer have the mans to challenge Bully for the title at Destination X).

Exactly, he doesn't know what Aries would do, so as we saw with Sabin, he takes matters into his own hands, looks for the guy first and makes sure that this guy doesn't cash in the title shot either.

People think it is 100% unlikely for someone to break The Streak. Here, if Aries wins, it screws up the entire BFG Series. Aries will now be the champion and thus not in the BFG Series, but he won't have had all of his matches yet, so the people that haven't faced him will be left with no opponent to face. They can't just put someone new in the BFG Series either, as then people who already wrestled Aries will wrestle an extra match.

Aries has only had 1 match, they can fix this quickly. Hell, they took out pope last year mid series. or they could keep him and make it so that Aries is trying to win it so no one else does