BRM Reviews the 4/15/2014 Main Event

[Big Red Machine]

LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito) vs. 2 AND A HALF MB (Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre (w/Hornswoggle)- no rating. F*CKING AWESOME SEGMENT!
Jinder cuts a promo saying that they have their own mascot: HORNSWOGGLE! The match is very short, ending when the ref throws the match out because he loses control of thing, unable to prevent Torito and Hornswoggle' from brawling in the ring. The little people then clear the ring via a fantastic series of nut-shots, then they brawl, with Torito getting the best of it. THIS ROCKED!

SIN CARA vs. BAD NEWS BARRETT- 3.75/10
Very short.

FOURTEEN WOMAN DIVAS TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH- -.05/10 (yes, that is negative)
How the f*ck did this match get booked? Absolutely NONE of these women have won a singles match since they all got a title shot in that clusterf*ck at Wrestlemania! Anyway, why is it that all of these other chumps get to be in this match but Summer Rae does not?
From the way Lillian was speaking, I'm pretty sure they were feeding the words to her via ear-piece pretty much as she was saying them.
The match itself was just bad. The only thing worse than the in-ring work was the camerawork, which missed the only tow or three things that seemed cool. My favorite part of this fail-fest was Layla going for her zig-zag-ing, twisting crossbody... and coming up short, falling flat on her face at Nattie's feet.

BIG SHOW vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter)- 5.75/10
Coulter has a sign that says "Deport Cesaro." Show lasts a long time in the ankle lock, then wins, because G-d forbid Jack Swagger should actually get a win.

Overall, a bad episode of Main Event. The only thing you need to see is the Torito/Hornsowggle stuff, and the replay they show on Smackdown covers it all.