John Cena: School Bully

[cero2k]

Found this writing on reddit, thought it was nice

by FabulousBigNigga

The WWE is an elementary school and Cena is the big bully that has reigned supreme over the years. HHH used to be the big bully but has seen the error of his ways. He's sees Cena being a dick and thinks that he needs to do something. So he gets Brock Lesnar to knock Cena off his high horse. So Brock the bigger badder bully embarrasses and humiliates the bully Cena in front of everyone. Rubs his face in the dirt and gives him an atomic wedgie.

Then Cena went home over the weekend to pout and came back to school on Monday super pissed off and needing to show he's not a bitch. So he decides to pick on someone he thinks would be easy. Someone he's already beat before and tries to hurt poor Bray Wyatt. The weird kid who just wants to help the other weird kids. Big bully Cena is taking out all his frustration on poor Bray. But Bray has two big brothers to watch his back so they try to stop Cena. But what does Cena do? He calls his two big bully friends Big Show and Mark Henry to come save him. Big Show and Henry were already trying to bully Rowan and Harper a week ago and now they want to try and continue. These two guys also hate Brock because they attacked Brock in the past when he was just minding his own business.

So now that Cena and his bully friends beat up the Wyatt family the rest of the school is gonna need to get Brock to finally teach that jerk Cena a lesson and show him who's boss.

[Big Red Machine]

I VEHEMENTLY disagree with these characterizations. Especially Bray's, but the whole thing is ridiculous. First of all, THIS IS A COMBAT SPORT! Bullies pick fights with people who are weaker than they are. In every single case here (especially the Wyatt Family vs. Cena, Henry, and Big Show), these guys were all booked into these matches BY SOMEONE ELSE, with the mutual understand that they would have this professional fight and all follow the rules, which Cena was doing, but Bray did not do when his guys ran in to help him. That's why the match ended with Bray getting DISQUALIFIED. Because his guys BROKE THE RULES.
Putting that aside, though I have a few problems with this. First of all, how are Big Show and Henry "bullies" but Harper and Rowan are not. They did the same thing Harper and Rowan did, except that Big Show and Henry did it to EVEN THE ODDS, while the Wyatts did it in order to unbalance things. Secondly, after his experiences with him earlier this year, I highly doubt that Cena would believe Bray to be "easy" to beat up.

Most importantly, though, Bray Wyatt is not "the weird kid who just wants to help other weird kids." He claims that what he is, but it clearly isn't. Here's the problem with Bray: We've never seen him do that. Not even once. At one point during the Cena feud, Bray cut a promo where he professed to be someone who is there for "the teenage girl who was told she wasn't pretty enough to be prom queen" and the guy who is down on his luck, but who no one helps out. If that is true, where are these people? Why have we never seen Bray interact with them. Or with anyone, really, aside from assaulting people? Why aren't we seeing (or at least hearing about) Bray offering to help Fandango as he is being harassed by Summer and Layla? Why hasn't he offered his support as a guide to Rosa Mendes, whose drug problems have been well-publicized already, and are supposedly going to be a plot-point on Total Divas? Where are the vingettes of Bray preaching on the street corner, with followers flocking around him?

Bray claims he is looking out for the weird kids, but he doesn't. Bray is not "poor Bray Wyatt. The weird kid who just wants to help the other weird kids." In this metaphorical school, Bray is the scary, violent outcast. The guy who has everyone a little worried that he might actually be serious when he says he is going to burn the place down. He has his violent outcast friends who help him, but he doesn't care about anyone else. He is a violent kid, and bully in his own right. Remember- BRAY is the one who has picked the fight in most of Bray's feuds.

It's well-written... but it doesn't come close to fitting the facts.

[Bob-O]

That guy's got the best user name ever.

[KILLdozer]

Got dang joke mane.

[KILLdozer]

Got dang joke mane.

[WrestlingJoker]

That guy's got the best user name ever.

I second this statement.

[kirbs2002]

The mental aerobics that some Cena haters go through to put him down would put a lot of conspiracy theorists to shame.

[Big Red Machine]

The mental aerobics that some Cena haters go through to put him down would put a lot of conspiracy theorists to shame.

Thank you! It's this guy finding a new way to take out his dislike of John Cena.

[cero2k]

The mental aerobics that some Cena haters go through to put him down would put a lot of conspiracy theorists to shame.

Thank you! It's this guy finding a new way to take out his dislike of John Cena.

at this point, i don't think people hate Cena that much as they hate how he's booked. having said that, they just may hate Cena for not doing anything about how he's booked