BRM Reviews the 6/2/2011 Impact (random sh*t we didn't need)

[Big Red Machine]

BISCHOF GETS SERVED- I agree with Bischoff. Why wouldn’t they just call him?

ODB & VELVET BRAWL-You see TNA… when you only do something like this every once in a while people enjoy it more when it happens. ODB was especially good here. I especially liked that we didn’t see the beginning of it. The cameras didn’t just happen to be in place, and it didn’t just happen to happen during the show. It was already in progress beforehand. It adds a nice element of realism to the show.

KEN ANDERSON AS STING- It was sort of funny the first time. The third, it is just moronic.

KENDRICK & BISCHOFF SEGMENT- okay, and it set up a match for later.

BISCHOFF, BEER MONEY, & SHELLEY- AWESOME SEGMENT!

MATT HARDY vs. CRIMSON- 5.25/10. The problem with this match was that, with the angle they are doing, there was no way in hell Crimson was going to lose. This match was good, though.

ERIC YOUNG & MR. ANDERSON BACKSTAGE- this shouldn’t have gone on the air. They should have just had Anderson hype up a famous opponent of Sting’s… then had EY come out with Muta’s facepaint, using his moves, and it would have been awesome. To show this segment on the air is just dumb. This is the sort of thing that needs to happen off camera.

ANGELINA & WINTER- hmm…

MISS TESSMACHER vs. ANGELINA LOVE (w/WINTER)- 3/10

MR. ANDERSTING vs. THE NOT SO GREAT MUTA- no rating… but F*CKING AWESOME! I marked out so hard for everything, especially the mist. Anderson doesn’t look to weak (because technically, EY cheated), and Gunner jumps EY afterwards, keeping their feud up. Sting gets to be a good babyface and make the save.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH FOR THE X-DIVISION TITLE: Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick- 7/10… but why the hell did Hebner not order the bell rung for a double DQ?

AJ-BULLY RAY CONFRONTATION- Okay. It seemed to lose its way half way through with the penis jokes. Other than that, it was good. I really don’t like Last Man Standing matches much, so I’m not too psyched for this.

KURT ANGLE & MATT MORGAN vs. SCOTT STEINER & JEFF JARRETT- 5/10. Nowhere near okay for a main event. The thing with Karen was atrocious. Did this feud really need this? Why the hell did this even happen? What even happened? If you don’t have the balls to show it, you have to TELL US! Don’t give us these dumb implications. Just tell us! What the hell was even the point? The only thing it adds to the feuds is sympathy for a hated heel. Why the hell would you add this in TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE END OF THE FEUD?

And having the camera cut backstage to Hogan and Bischoff (WITH NO SOUND) was bad, too. Wrestling matters? Yeah, right. If wrestling mattered, your camera would have stayed with the action.

HOGAN & BISCHOFF SEGMENT- DUMBEST SWERVE IN HISTORY. Really? WTF? Why the hell would Bischoff wait to open something like this up. They are important legal papers. You don’t go out in public to open them. This was a swerve for the sake of a swerve. No one believed that they would end the Immortal angle like this, so no one actually thought Bischoff and Hogan would be gone. Basically, all they accomplished was a waste of time.

As an aside: does anyone remember that HUGE deal that TNA made about not being allowed to say ECW, and how that was mean old Vince‘s fault? Well Vince owns WCW, too. So why are they allowed to say that on the air?

Overall, this episode of Impact was pretty bad. It had some highlights, but those were short, or were comedy. The majority of this show was sh*t.

Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Taz misuses the term “sacrificial lamb.”

2. Once again, Taz & Tenay ignore history and seem to have no idea what the possible outcomes might be if there is a draw in a #1 contendership match.

3. Taz- “Hogan and Bischoff didn’t last a year here. They came in in October and didn’t last a year”-they came in on January 4th, 2010, and clearly had kayfabe power from that moment on. Taz’s statement is ridiculously incorrect.

[cero2k]

on this show, i think that TNA screwed up what could have been one of the best segments since CM Punk played Hardy.

fake Sting vs fake Muta would have been awesome if played correctly, but TNA f'ed up by (1) showing Anderson talk to Young, (2) having Anderson tell Hemme to announce the "Not so great" Muta, and (3) Hemme's announcing.

It should have been just Anderson hyping that he was facing an old opponent from sting, but he didn't know who. Then when the match is about to start, have Muta come in with a normal announcing job and wearing the old muta hood/mask. Anderson shows to be surprised and worried, then Muta takes the mask off and reveals Eric Young (and hopefully Taz and Tenay can sell that this is actually EY). C'mon TNA, IT'S THAT SIMPLE!!!

problem is, would TNA live audience even know who Muta is?