BRM Reviews the 8/11/2011 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

VIDE0O PACKAGE & KURT ANGLE PROMO- More crap about how the World Title gives you power, but we never get any evidence of it!

OPENING SEGMENT- Wow. I didn’t see this coming at all, and it makes sense. Props to TNA… or not. Anderson joins Immortal just to turn on them. For the second time this year! Also, I’m not an EMT, but these TNA guys are INCOMPETENT! You don’t start moving the gurney UNTIL THE GUYS IS STRAPPED DOWN!

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TITLE: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James- 3/10. Why should Mickie have to fight for #1 contendership? Shouldn’t she have her champion’s rematch?

ROBBIE E. (w/Cookie) vs. BRIAN KENDRICK- 3.5/10 Not good, and the “communication issues” between Robbie and Cookie do nothing but make Kendrick look bad, as he can’t even get a clean win over a guy who is basically a jobber. Also, why did the ref not do anything when Cookie used the hairspray?
AUSTIN ARIES is on commentary. I hope he rips Taz & Tenay to shreds!

POPE-DEVON SEGMENT- eh

ROBBIE & COOKIE BREAK UP- who cares?

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Pope & Devon vs. Beer Money vs. RVD & AJ Styles- 5/10. Not too exciting. Felt a lot like a bunch of moves with no story.

KURT ANGLE PROMO- Good words… but UTTERLY F*CKING RIDICULOUS! More Dixie-centrism. This woman is irrelevant to TNA! It’s not her company! A judge (who was likely biased in her favor, no less!)… decided in a court of law that she lost her company because of negligence and stupidity on her own part, rather than deception by Hogan & Bischoff.
More importantly, we know for a kayfabe fact (and Kurt himself has stated many times) that JEFF AND KAREN AND HOGAN ARE KNOWN LIARS!!!!!!!!!! Did it not cross Kurt’s mind that Jeff, Karen, and/or Hogan might have been lying to him?!

And Hogan beat Sting up throughout the entire commercial break… and no one showed up to make the save?

TARA & TESSMACHER vs. JACKIE & ODB- 4/10. It told its story well, but it just wasn’t exciting. Props to TNA for acknowledging Tara’s slip up by making it part of kayfabe.
THEY’RE NOT UNDER CONTRACT!!!! If Bischoff doesn’t want “any more headaches” from the Knockouts’ Division… THEN MAYBE HE SHOULD JUST NOT USE THE WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN CAUSING THE MOST PROBLEMS… AND AREN’T EVEN UNDER CONTRACT!

BISCHOFF & THE X-DIVISION- GREAT! I’m not sure how I feel about the weight limit, though. I like it because it sets limits, and a “division” implies limits, but I don’t like it because it is the exact opposite of the old slogan.

JARRETTS SEGMENT- MORONIC. So Jeff Jarrett is some combination of a moron and a racist. And what was the point of doing all of this? To get a pop for THE SPANISH COLOR COMMENTATOR? ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?

EY STUFF- stupid

ANDERSON COMES BACK- eh.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Crimson vs. Bully Ray vs. Scott Steiner vs. Gunner- 4.5/10. Completely unacceptable for a main event.
AFTERMATH- eh. I would have liked it more if this turn wasn’t so stupid. Also, Kurt beating Crimson up and attacking him with the knee brace just seemed weird. This is KURT ANGLE! When he wants to hurt someone, he doesn’t punch them in the face. He locks in the Ankle Lock and BREAKS THEIR FREAKIN’ ANKLE!

Overall, this episode of Impact absolutely sucked. Once again, Austin Aries is the best part of the show.

[Styles]

Once again, Austin Aries is the best part of the show.

Finally some money well spent.

[kiel297]

For once, I actually watched Impact, and I'm calling it.

Until the 90 days is up, Jarrett will bully Hector Guerrero and make a mockery of the Guerrero name, when as soon as he's free to do so, Chavo runs in and makes the save just as Jarrett begins to get physical with Hector.

BUT to be honest, this I wouldn't mind seeing, purely because Chavo Guerrero.

[cero2k]

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TITLE: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James- 3/10. Why should Mickie have to fight for #1 contendership? Shouldn’t she have her champion’s rematch?

I don't think rematch clauses exist in TNA.

ROBBIE & COOKIE BREAK UP- who cares?

I do. Robbie E is the only reason i get to see cookie. I hope this break up means more cookie, less robbie

[cero2k]

For once, I actually watched Impact, and I'm calling it.

Until the 90 days is up, Jarrett will bully Hector Guerrero and make a mockery of the Guerrero name, when as soon as he's free to do so, Chavo runs in and makes the save just as Jarrett begins to get physical with Hector.

BUT to be honest, this I wouldn't mind seeing, purely because Chavo Guerrero.

I had thought this too

[Rabid619]

The Jarretts thing was just horrible and thens when i realized that Impact was on TV last night so i tuned in to watch pure sh*t. Main event was horrible, Crimson still didn't impress me.

[Big Red Machine]

For once, I actually watched Impact, and I'm calling it.

Until the 90 days is up, Jarrett will bully Hector Guerrero and make a mockery of the Guerrero name, when as soon as he's free to do so, Chavo runs in and makes the save just as Jarrett begins to get physical with Hector.

BUT to be honest, this I wouldn't mind seeing, purely because Chavo Guerrero.

I was thinking this, too, when I first watched it, but had forgotten about the no-compete clause, so I was wondering why the hell Chavo hadn't shown up already. Then again, this is TNA, so Chavo might show up and beat up the workers for subbing him while mentioning every other Guerrero.

As a side note, did anyone hear the lack of louder pop for Eddie? That usually happens in a crowd of wrestling fans. here, it was only the first few rows center stage (where the actual fans, rather than the plants tend to sit) that popped louder for Eddie.

[Big Red Machine]

I do. Robbie E is the only reason i get to see cookie. I hope this break up means more cookie, less robbie

Go watch anything in ROH while she was in Special K. Especially any time they were on Good Times Great Memories. Cabana made sure that we all got to see plenty of Becky's boobs. And she looked a lot hotter.

[cero2k]

I do. Robbie E is the only reason i get to see cookie. I hope this break up means more cookie, less robbie

Go watch anything in ROH while she was in Special K. Especially any time they were on Good Times Great Memories. Cabana made sure that we all got to see plenty of Becky's boobs. And she looked a lot hotter.

oh, believe me...i do