BRM Reviews the 8/25/2011 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Kurt Angle steals a ten year old Undertaker catchphrase… wait? Now Kurt doesn’t want Immortal to help him in his match? Why? All he wants to do is hurt the young guys and keep any semblance of power away from Dixie. Why join Immortal in the first place if he didn’t want their help. After all, he could just as well have become a tweener, trying to take out both the young guys and Immortal (especially Jeff and Karen)

KNOCKOUTS BACKSTAGE- Either a set-up for an obvious swerve, or BS we have seen before. Either way, I don’t care and don’t want to see it.

JACKIE, ODB, & VELVET SKY vs. ANGELINA LOVE & MEXICAN AMERICA (w/Hernandez & Anarquia)- 4/10. Well what do you know. There was no swerve. Didn’t make the match any better. And a double suplex as a finish? WTF?

KID KASH vs. JESSE SORENSON- 4.75/10, but I LOVED the finish. AWESOME aftermath.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: The Pope vs. Rob Van Dam- 5.25/10. Good match. I wish it were longer.

JOE ATTACKS POPE & DEVON MAKES THE SAVE- good.

ROB TERRY & ROBBIE E- I LOVE this pairing! Big Rob will make an awesome bodyguard for the obnoxious Robbie

SARITA & ROSITA ATTACK WINTER & ANGELINA- neither of these teams should be turning face.

TRACI & BISCHOFF- dumb. Traci is a MARRIED babyface! Also, this segment proved why the secret, hiding camera guy is so dumb. There is no way in hell that they wouldn’t have seen the cameraman.

STING HOGAN & FLAIR- SNORE! This was pretty bad. Sting and Flair had one or two good lines, but that wasn’t worth having to sit through this crappy segment.

AJ & DANIELS SEGMENT- GREAT!

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES 6 MAN TAG TEAM NO DQs FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH: Immortal vs. Fortune- 5.5/10. Didn’t care for it.

ANDERSON MAKES THE SAVE- TERRIBLE! Pulling into the arena in a camo-hummer is such a stupid, Attitude Era thing to do. It doesn’t make sense. Why not just pull up in your own car? Why waste the time and money renting a camo-hummer? And why was security trying to stop Anderson (a TNA employee)?

MICKIE JAMES PROMO- not bad.

EY SH*T- utter sh*t.

KURT ANGLE vs. CRIMSON- No rating. It did everything it needed to: Kept Kurt strong while making Crimson look impressive. Makes me want to see a rematch. Everyone comes out of this looking strong, and Joe gets to be the grumpy spoiler.

HYPE FOR NEXT WEEK- Excellent.

JOE JUMPS CRIMSON BACKSTAGE- GREAT!

Overall, this episode of Impact was actually pretty good. It was a great storyline development show, but it lacked a lot in the ring, and some of the angles are just dumb.

Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Tenay- “The icy stare between Crimson and Kurt Angle interrupted by, of all things, Immortal? What’s this about?” Tenay picks THIS as the first time in months when he shows some actual emotion. The fact that the stable Kurt has just joined is coming out while he is staring down one of their enemies… is the first thing in months that surprises Tenay? (and Taz said that he had no idea why Immortal might come out, either).

2. Tenay- “Interesting to see Velvet Sky on one side of the ring and her former long time tag team partner Angelina Love on the opposition”- Right. Because they haven’t been feuding for MONTHS now.