BRM Reviews the 7/5/2012 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

BULLY RAY & JOSEPH PARK SEGMENT- bad. Why would any court issue a restraining order against Abyss to protect Bully Ray? And seriously… didn’t Bully Ray claim to have beaten Abyss half to death for no good reason? So what freaking court would have given him a restraining order… but not have him arrested for assault? And what makes anyone think that Abyss will obey the restraining order?

A REPORTER BADGERS DIXIE ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE THINKS AJ IS CLAIRE’S BABY’S FATHER- bad. For the six weeks it was being alleged that AJ and Dixie were having an affair, no one ever asked Dixie anything about it… but now that Daniels (who has already been proven to be a liar), makes another claim about AJ, reporters start badgering Dixie? Come on! And Dixie claims that she hasn’t talked to AJ or Claire at all about this? Some friend she is.

After his seventeen month undefeated streak is snapped, Crimson is given a shot at the TV Title. So seventeen months of winning didn’t get him a title shot, but now he gets one once he loses? What sense does that make?
TNA TV TITLE MATCH: Devon(c) vs. Crimson- 0.5/10
Crimson goes for a bunch of roll-ups, then gets pinned. THIS is the guy who went undefeated for seventeen months… and he loses this quickly. WTF?!

MADISON’S CRUSH IS REVEALED- I totally saw this one coming. I also have no idea what the hell it does for anyone involved.

CHRIS SABIN & BOBBY ROODE STUFF- GREAT, but Austin Aries making the save for someone just seems so odd to me. I have seen him as a heel for three and a half years now. I really can’t get used to him as a babyface who will help someone just because it’s the right thing to do.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE TOURNAMENT QUALIFYING MATCH: Flip Cassanova vs. Dakota Darsow- 4/10

So Gail, who, three weeks ago, demanded the match on a week’s notice and has wanted it ever since… now suddenly doesn’t want the match just yet?
GAIL KIM & MADISON RAYNE vs. TNT (Miss Tessmacher & Tara)- 2/10
Tara hits her finish… then tags Tessmacher in, so Tessmacher hitting her crappy looking finish on Madison just seems like overkill. It didn’t feel Tessmacher got the win here, as much as it felt like Tara gave her a win.

AJ STYLES PROMO- good. It didn’t run long, it established a match for the PPV, and AJ made the obvious logical arguments that anyone else in this situation would make.

SOMEONE GIVES HOGAN AN ENVELOPE- this was actually a decently good segment. There is now a mystery that will be resolved next week. I want to tune in.

JEFF HARDY PROMO- good

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE TOURNAMENT QUALIFYING MATCH: Kenny King vs. Lars Only- 4.5/10
KENNY KING! And he’es even wearing his ANX tights!

KENNY KING PROMO- GREAT!

AUSTIN ARIES TRAINING VIDEO- okay

AUSTIN ARIES & KENNY KING BACKSTAGE- I like it. After getting the rub from Aries, King is definitely the favorite to win

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm- 6.75/10

BOUND FOR GLORY WILL BE IN PHOENIX- Phoenix? Really? When I think of wrestling towns, I think of New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Charlotte, Louisville, Calgary, Toronto, St. Louis, San Francisco etc. Definitely not Phoenix. Do they really think they will draw more people in Phoenix than in Chicago or Charlotte or New York?

ANGLE VS. ANDERSON HYPE- okay

CLOSING SEGMENT- entirely unnecessary. They should have given this time to the various matches.

Overall, a very bad episode of Impact. It looks like last week was a fluke.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay first talks about how Devon deserved a rest from putting the TV Title on the line, then told us that he had recently gotten a two-week rest. Then he says “Every week the champ has to put his TV Title at stake on Impact Wrestling”- obviously not, if he just got a two week rest!

2. Taz says that the Twist of Fate “comes out of nowhere” but the Last Call “Takes a little bit to set it up.” Are you kidding me? It takes more to set up a front facelock transitioned into a cutter than it does to do a freakin’ superkick?

[cero2k]

MADISON’S CRUSH IS REVEALED- I totally saw this one coming. I also have no idea what the hell it does for anyone involved.

obviously Hebner, i'd give my right kidney to be in his spot right now