A limo has pulled up, and Tenay tells us it is Sting,… but it doesn’t look like anything Sting has ever worn. It is obviously Anderson’s surprise.
SARITA, ROSITA, & MADISON RAYNE vs. TARA, MICKIE JAMES, & MISS TESSMACHER- 4/10. Interesting finish
The cameraman is following the guy who is supposedly Sting who got out of the limo… but apparently has decided to only film his legs for some reason. Why is it that every other time, they don’t film the guy’s legs?! (unless the usual cameraman is sick, and their sub is midget, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t the case) This is the sort of logical flaw that, to me, poops all over kayfabe!
X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Kazarian(c) vs. Abyss- 4.5/10 Too short, especially for a title match!
SAMOA JOE vs. AMAZING RED- Sqaush. BOOO! I also didn’t like Joe beating Red up after the match. It doesn’t fit in with his character. He is out for himself. He won’t make the save for someone, but he wouldn’t beat someone down for no reason.
AJ-DREAMER SEGMENT- GREAT segment, and an AWESOME promo by Tommy Dreamer!
ANGLE-JARRETT SEGMENT- Good, until the stuff with Karen & Velvet. That was just dumb .
GEN. ME SEGMENT- FINALLY! A segment that actually SHOWS a reconciliation!
ERIC BISCHOFF & MATT HARDY vs. GENERATION ME- 4/10
WINTER & ANGELINA BACKSTAGE- interesting
I hated Christy introducing Velvet as “at a disadvantage”- We’re not morons! We can see that there is one of Velvet, and two of her opponents! Give you audience some credit! We’re not all as dumb as you. I also hated her introducing Velvet as “a Knockout favorite.” She should be objective and impartial.
HANDICAP MATCH: Winter & Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky- 4/10 (although I assume that someone who doesn’t like this angle as much as I do could go lower). After the match, ODB returns and randomly attacks Velvet. Despite her assaulting the babyface who they were cheering for two minutes ago, the fans decide to cheer for ODB. Morons.
EY & TESSMACHER- dumb.
WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON? They are talking about some match last week that didn’t even happen! Are they f*cking morons! Did they not double check what happened on the last show before booking this one? What a bunch of irredeemable BRAIN-DEAD MORONS!
RIC FLAIR CALLS OUT BOBBY ROODE- not good. It wasn’t bad, either, but it just didn’t seem to make sense with all of the hate over the past few months, and it didn’t feel anywhere near as big as it should have.
Heel beatdown once again. Doesn’t this company know ANY other way to get heat?
Oh G-d. Not the “WHAT?” chants here, too.
ENDING SEGMENT- Utter crap. Sting tells us that RVD “took him to the limit” at Sacrifice. If THAT is Sting’s limit, he shouldn’t be the champ. Then he tells us pretty much the same thing that he told us in a random promo earlier, in almost the exact same words. Then the lights go out, and Mr. Anderson dressed as Sting (which everyone aside from Tenay saw coming) apparently now has access to Sting’s powers of either teleportation or night vision, so he pops up behind Sting and attacks him.
This episode of Impact was UTTER SH*T!
Over the last week, TNA has been insisting to us that in TNA “wrestling matters.” And then they go and give us four short, sh*tty matches, and a popular babyface getting squashed. The main event is a four-minute handicap match, and ended a good fifteen minutes before the end of the show itself, with TWO other in-ring confrontations coming after it. Does anyone really believe TNA? At all?
Stupid announcer quotes:
1. Taz “When you’re Hulk Hogan, you can do what you want, how you want, the way you want. He runs this place, the Hulkster”- apparently not, if Mick Foley can make decisions and Hogan is forced to obey them.
2. Tenay keeps calling the boots out of the limo a “signature look” and for that reason assumes that it is Sting- WHEN THE HELL HAS STING EVER WORN THOSE COLORS? Not in at least 15 years! And never with the scorpion logo! What an idiot!
3. Tenay (about Mexican America)- “I have never seen a group that is so united. Talk about ‘familia’. Everywhere that Sarita & Rosita go, you guys are there, and every time that you’re competing, they’re with you at ringside” Yeah. Because no other stable in history has ever done that. I honestly think that Tenay is pushing home this point JUST so he can say “familia,” which is pathetic.
4. Tenay- “WHAT HAPPENED THERE?! One second he was favoring the injured leg and injured knee, then… oh G-D! A Black Hole Slam!” So “professor” Tenay has never seen anyone play possum before?
5. Tenay keeps talking up “Bischoff’s master plan to totally abolish the X-Division from Impact Wrestling,” and keeps saying that winning tonight’s matches are steps 1, 2, & 3 in that plan. If Bischoff wanted to get rid of the X-Division…. Why doesn’t he just fire the X-division guys? We know that he can fire people, because, apparently, he has threatened Tommy Dreamer with being fired if he didn’t piledrive AJ.



